paper hearts | vinnie hacker

06

vinnie and i were sitting on my couch, watching love island while cuddling. we started watching it one night i spent at his place. it just hooked us.

i looked up at him while he was focused on the tv. we haven't kissed or anything besides cuddling, hugging or holding hands. it felt nice to just have someone be there.

i was leaving shortly and i didn't want to grow attached to him. felt like it was too late for that, but i couldn't help it.

"i'm tired vin. i think i might go up to my room and go to bed." i said standing up and yawning.

he frowned. "oh okay. do you want me to go?" he asked.

i didn't but he needed to. this was getting too much for me, pushing him away was the best way to get rid of whatever feels we're developing.

"i need time to myself. i'm overwhelmed and stressed." i said, coming up with an excuse in the spot.

he looked confused, but nodded his head and walked towards the door, leaving without a word. i knew he was upset with me, i would always let him stay.

i went up to my bed and cried. i couldn't deal with this.

imessage

logan
harps please come over
i need you
i'm so sad
i can't deal w this rn
pls

harps🌻🌞
babe are you ok?
lemme put some clothes on and i'll be right over
love you baby hang on
for me please

i say in the shower with all my clothes on, contemplating ending it. i know it's selfish, but i was having a panic attack and that the first thing i think of to get rid of it.

i let the cold water run over me as i sobbed uncontrollably. i screamed and yelled.

i heard me bathroom door open but i didn't even dare to look up. i was so tired. tired of going through this.

"baby. i'm here, you're okay." harper said softly, getting into the tub and hugging me.

  she slowly got me out of the tub and into dry clothes. we sat in my bed for nearly and hour before she finally spoke.

  "what's going on?" she asked, holding my hand.

  "flashbacks of jackson. they happen everytime i spend time with vinnie and then he leaves." i explained.

  "you liked him, don't you?"

  "i don't know. i think i do, but i'm so scared."

  she nodded squeezing my hand

  "babe. he's a good guy, he won't hurt you. he's not going to leave if you get close."

  i couldn't get myself to believe her. jackson fucked everything up. he fucked me up. he left me.

  he committed suicide on my birthday, and i had to find him. he was all bloody. i can't get that image out of my head. he was the love of my life, and he just left me. i can't bring myself to trust another male.

¥¥¥

i know it was short but i just wanted to put that part about jackson in there because it was eating my alive not having any excitement in this.

there's lots of drama to come though. i finally thought of some good storylines to include.

any ways hope y'all enjoyed <3