My Piece of the Action

Baby, Maybe

Raven's eyes were red and bloodshot, her hair was dishivelled. Unbrushed. She sat up in bed, her stomach was stretched from carrying her babies. Izzy stradlin held onto her left hand, Slash clung to her right. The lighting was dim. Her excitement and pleasure with her first newborn had been beautiful, wonderful. A baby boy, all for her! There were difficulties when it came to his biological father, but he had the five band members of guns n roses for fatherly figures. When it came to her second baby, however, she discovered that twin two had been born without a heartbeat. The baby girl was a still born.

"Miss Raven Cassel?" A doctor entered the room,

"Yes?!" She replied quickly, tone hopeful. "Did you save her? tell me she's breathing."

"Uh- no. Your baby has been declared- dead." The old male doctor looked at the floor, his bald patch shining in the dim artificial light of the corridor. Raven let out a sob. "I am- very sorry." He said quietly, "does she have a name?" He asked, frowning. Raven's tears ran into her mouth as she opened it to talk. She whispered,

"Bonnie. Bonnie Rose." The doctor nodded and left the room, saying nothing. The only sounds were of Raven's uneven breathing as she cried and of the doctor's fading footsteps as his shoes clacked against the linoleum. The baby boy, Renan Hendrix, clung to Slash's top with his small fist as he slept in his arms. Raven refused to hold him from the time twin two was born, in the late afternoon to the time she fell asleep. She was too worried for his sister, and then she said she felt as if he was replacing her stillborn baby, in a way.

Slash cradled him to sleep and held him all the time that first night, while Raven wept softly. Slash fell asleep soon after and everyone else left to go home. Izzy stayed awake all night long. Raven eventually slipped off into sleep in the early hours of the morning, exhausted, and only then did Izzy finally drift off too.

The next morning brought Raven no solace. She fed Renan, and then passed him back to Slash. She wanted nothing to do with the baby she still had. She was too busy pining for her baby girl.

Slash urged her to hold him, and only when he cried out for breast milk did she do so. The doctors told her again and again that she must bond with the baby she had, and though in mourning, Renan needed her. She wept and wept. Nothing soothed her broken heart, and then on the third night, it was very late and Slash was sitting in his usual chair cradling baby Renan. Raven lay on her side, staring at the pair. They looked very alike, with the dark curly hair and the vacant expressions of two sleeping people. Renan's big brown eyes opened all of a sudden and his little head moved. The baby blinked back at her for a moment, and then his little hand reached out toward Raven from his perch in the crook of Slash's arm. He had long eyelashes and chubby baby cheeks. He smiled at her toothlessly around the white pacifier in his mouth, melting Raven's aching heart. She rose from her hospital bed and gently took baby Renan into her arms from out of Slash's. She layed back down on her side, facing the same way as before, and cuddled the tiny being to her. He snuggled in, and his little fist gripped a handful of her hospital gown as he drifted off. She smiled down at his tiny face and kissed his forehead. That night, as she fell asleep, Raven thought of what she had instead of what she'd lost, and she slept better and longer then the past two nights combined.

When she awoke, the sun was blazing outside and the curtains had been tugged open. Slash still sat in his chair, but now he was awake and thumbing through a magazine.

She blinked her eyes a couple of times, and glanced down at the sleeping baby before her, still clinging to her hospital gown.

"Slash?" Her voice felt unused and hoarse. She hadn't spoken since she had lost her baby.

"Raven! You're talking again!" He jumped out of his seat. "I noticed you took Renan, finally." He added, grinning

"Yeah." She ran her fingers through her baby's short, soft curls.

"This is great." He smiled,

"Yeah." She said again, managing a weak smile.

They were released from the hospital a day later, and Raven had began to bond with Renan now. He was eight and a half pounds at birth, and was friends with everyone he met, but was especially fond of the men in Guns N' Roses. He had a special affection for Slash, however, as he had cradled him most of the time those first few days of his life.

Renan had big brown eyes, long lashes and soft, lightly coloured caramel skin. He had chubby cheeks and a cheeky, toothless smile. Raven adored him.

Guns n' Roses were signed to Geffen before she knew it, and were on their way to fame. She was very happy for both herself and them.