That Word Everybody Hates (Complete)

Chapter Two

The ringing of the doorbell wakes me from a dreamless sleep. I snuggle in closer to the warmth that surrounds me and inhale the familiar musky scent that belongs to North. Saying that though, it’s different. “You’ve been drinking.” I mumble into his chest.

North whole body seems to relax beneath me where I am cradled in his lap, his arms around my waist, chin on the top of my head as I rest my cheek on his chest. “Yeah baby, I have been.”

“You’re a silly man sometimes North Taylor.” I scorn him.

“And sometimes you’re a silly women Sang Blackbourne.”

I smile. “I know.” I pull back and open my eyes so I can look into his warming loveable ones. It’s weird how thinking back to ten years ago I thought that those eyes at first glance were a little scary looking. How he all together was a little scary looking when really he’s a big old softy with a huge heart. “I’m sorry.”

I see him bite down on the inside of his lip and his eyes fill with water. He breaths in deeply through his nose and out through a small gap between his top and bottom lip. He’s stopping himself for crying. “I know baby. We’ll talk later, right now though Dr. Roberts has just arrived so we can talk about this as a family in the comfort of our own home.”

I heart pauses in my chest. I start shaking my head. “I don’t want to North. I literally only got my results today with no further discussion. I didn’t want to know any more than that.”

“Again baby, I know. Doc rang him to find out what you know and when Dr. Roberts told him that you only took the results and then left, he invited him over so we could sit down and talk about this together. Discuss your options and..Other things..”

I don’t like this because I’m not ready. I know that I need to do it in order for me to get better but I seriously don’t want to. I don’t want to find out how bad it is and what treatment I need to get. I’m so scared. But maybe with my boys there with me, holding my hand, just being close, I will be okay. I nod my head. “Okay.”

It’s in that moment that my boys walk in. One by one they walk in, making eye contact for a second before placing themselves on the sofa. Nathan is last to walk in followed by Dr. Roberts. Nathan avoids all eye contact with me. “Honey.” I whisper. Nathan’s blue eyes snap to mine and the first thing I see is regret. He regrets walking away from me but I understand I think. I lift my feet of the middle seat on the sofa, offering him the spot in-between me and North and Kota who has sat the other end. He hesitates for a moment before coming to sit down. He looks at me, the apology clearly written in his eyes. “I know and it’s okay.” He nods and takes my hand in his.

Dr. Roberts greets me with a smile. “It’s lovely to see you again, Sang. However, I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“Me too.” I whisper. Dr. Roberts takes a seat in-between Sean and Owen.

Dr. Roberts clears his throat. “So were now all aware that Sang had found a lump and came to me for testing, are we correct?” We all nod our heads. “We’re also aware that the results were that Sang does indeed have cancer.” We nod our heads once again.

“But we don’t know how bad it is.” Sean whispers.

“I know, Sean.” Dr. Roberts replied. “Sang didn’t want to talk about it in that moment when I gave her the results.” He turns to me. “Are you ready for them now?”

No not really, I want to say, but I end up nodding my head. Nathan’s hands tighten in mine and North’s arms wrap tighter around my waist.

“Very well.” Dr. Roberts opens the brief case he was carrying with him and pulls out a blue folder with my name on it. He opens it and looks it through. “At the moment, the best option is to go straight in for a lumpectomy then followed by Chemotherapy and then Radiotherapy. In the meantime, we will continue running tests, making sure the cancerous cells don’t spread.”