Just Hold A Smile

Chicago, Illinois, 1997-98

You have reached the voicemail of Lisa, Marcus, and An Merwin. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you soon!

"Hey An, it's Sam. I just wanted to let you know I made it to Chicago. Plan is to stay here for a while. Just wanted to let you know where I ended up, like I promised. Okay, bye, I guess."

I didn't leave the phone booth. It had only been a few hours since Scott had dropped me off in front of the tower. I left and used a quarter I had found to use this phone to call An so I wouldn't break my promise to her. And now she would hopefully know that I was safe. If she got the message.

I stayed in the booth longer. No one stood waiting outside it, so I saw no reason to leave. It was much warmer inside the booth than out, and I had no idea where to go from there. I had no family, no friends, no acquaintances. An would have known what to do. She had always been the smarter of the two of us. She would have had a plan already, probably. An would have been okay.

Someone started pounding on the door of the booth, and I jolted so hard I hit my elbow on the edge of the phone. Some impatient woman stood outside, arms crossed and fingers tapping against her arm. She didn't look like she was struggling at all, financially or warmth wise. Her black fur coat told me she had money, and that she was warm.

I wanted both.

She tapped on the booth again, this time huffing as she did. What a bitch.

I stepped out and around her. She stared at me for what must have been a good thirty seconds. I stared back, refusing to leave her gaze, thinking if she could be rude, then so could I. Her eyes dropped. She huffed again and entered the booth. I found it hard to believe she didn't have a cell phone. She looked like she could afford one.

I lingered near the booth, pacing back and forth, trying to form a plan inside my head. There had to be a place to go. Most big cities had places for people like me to stay. At least, I was pretty sure they did.

God, I was freezing. I couldn't feel my toes and my cheeks and ears might have been frostbitten, and everything was just so damn cold. My toes curled up into my worn sneakers that did nothing to block out the temperatures. I walked away from the booth, trying to get my blood flowing again.

"Hey!"

I ignored the voice.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!"

I looked over my shoulder to find the black-coated woman following me. I ignored her again. I wasn't going to stop for a stranger who'd been rude. Definitely not one who looked rich enough to think it entitled them to be rude, either.

"Will you stop for a sec-"

"What the fuck do you want?" I stopped and shouted at her. She stopped a few feet behind me, her hands held up in surrender.

"Jesus, I was just gonna ask if you needed help."

Oh. That made me the asshole.

"Shit, I'm sorry," I said, tapping my fingers against my thigh.

"Do you have family around here?" she asked, wrapping that stupidly warm looking black coat around her.

"No," I said because what were the chances I'd see this lady again. She wasn't the type who looked like she'd be hanging around people like me. This must have been her one good deed for the day, helping someone like me.

"There's a shelter a few blocks down if you keep going down the sidewalk. It'll be on your left. It's better than staying out on the streets."

"They still let people in at this time of night?"