Just Hold A Smile

Minnesota, 1997

Sixteen was a tough age, especially in a rural Midwest town where everyone knew everyone. It was harder when your parents were well-known drug addicts. It was even harder when you were gay.

We lived in a town of about 700 people, about 30 miles north of Mankato. Or would that make it a village? Whatever it was, it was small. Lots of southern Minnesota towns were small. There was a school, a grocery store, a restaurant, four gas stations, five churches, and five bars. Why small towns had an influx of churches and bars was a mystery to me. I mean, to be fair, most of the people I knew went from church Sunday mornings straight to the bar afterward. Kind of twisted thinking.

Anyway, my class was made of about thirty-five people. Very small, and most of them didn't live in our town. Some of them came from other neighboring small towns. That was how small our town was.

The smallness was the problem.

Small meant people knew everything. Small meant it was hard to hide anything. Living in a small town like mine was fine if you were, quote-unquote, normal. And by normal, I meant white, straight, and at least middle-class. I mean, for the most part, that was how it was.

I was only one of those things, and that was the fact that I was white. Otherwise, I was a gay and poor individual with drug addicts for parents. And everyone knew these things.

That's not to say I was the only one who didn't fit in. I had one amazing friend who was of Asian descent, Chinese to be specific. Her name was An. A nice enough family adopted her, and An was a wonderful girl. The town I lived in was not wonderful, unfortunately being filled with racists.

There were others who felt the brunt of the brutal comments and actions. There was a single African-American kid in my school, and he wasn't very popular. I had never spoken to the other boy, but even without knowing him, I knew we had one thing in common. The same was with the girl with Down Syndrome, though I wondered how anyone could be cruel to her. She was an adorable girl. But it didn't matter to anyone. Because we were different, we were supposed to be hated.

Being different sucked. But I couldn't change who I was. That was the worst part about being me.

Sometimes, I hated the person I was.

____________________________________________________________

Welcome to part 3 of All The Madness We Share! This is Sam Evans's story! We will be seeing more of Zoey and Sam's relationship and Katie and Sam's relationship for sure. Hope you all enjoy! Sorry for the short first chapter, but they should be getting longer.