What If I Can't Forget You?

{9}

Jaime's POV

I sat on the edge of the stage, staring at the floor.

My heart was broken and sunk so low that it sat in my stomach. I can't cry again, I thought. Not in front of them.

The boys were warming up for tonight, but I excused myself to the bathroom, because I can't deal with that right now. I came out here instead, and sat motionless.

Last night, I had a rose for Alex. I wanted to ask her to be mine.

I knew she always waited up for me in the pit when the crowd left. But last night, when I went to see her, there was another boy.

She hugged him. A good hug, where she wrapped her arms all the way around him, pressing herself up against his chest. She only ever hugged me like that. They released each other, and she looked up at him, smiling. She looked love-struck.

I felt a pang of jealousy and anger in my chest, and I stormed backstage.

I wanted her so badly. We had been best friends since I met her about a month ago, but I felt like I had known her my whole life.

I heard her footsteps after me, heading backstage. I quickly tossed the flower in my hoodie pocket, and turned to leave, but my anger got the best of me.

"Hey Jaime-Time!" She punched my arm.

"Who was that?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady from oncoming tears and rage.

"Wha- Oh. That was Ian. He, uh- he's really cool. We're going to meet up tomorrow." Oh. Ian. They're meeting up? I tried hard to keep it together.

"You can't meet up with someone you just met. He could be a rapist." I sounded irrational, stupid. But I didn't want this to happen, I didn't want her to slip through my fingers.

"Jaime. Do you realize that you knew Claire and I for less than 24 hours before you agreed to let us come on tour with you?" I did realize. I just, I can't let this happen. I need a reason.

"That's different."

"No. It's not."

I was going to cry. I turned away.

"I don't understand what the hell you're so concerned about."

Overcome with anger, I whirled around, and opened my mouth, about to go off. I can't let her see me like this. Instead, I turned to the rest of the band and Claire, who now stared at us.

"I'm going back to the hotel." I said quietly, holding back tears, and left through the parking garage door, a security guard at my heels.

I sat in the van alone for a moment, while the rest of our group filed out. We sat through a silent ride back to the hotel, the tension in the air almost electric.

When we pulled up, I grabbed my key out of my pocket, and stormed upstairs. I ignored a very concerned Vic who tried to speak to me. I slammed my door, and collapsed on my bed, and I broke. I cried because it wasn't fair, because I wanted her, and I couldn't have her. I cried until sleep came, until I pitifully drifted off.