What If I Can't Forget You?

{25}

Jaime's POV

I felt like absolute shit.

I was hungover, sick, and I couldn't remember anything about last night.

Apparently I drove drunk. God, how stupid. Drunk me apparently wanted to fucking die.

She made me crazy. Sure, I get wasted sometimes, but never for the wrong reasons. I never drink to forget.

I guess I failed, because I remembered what I was trying to forget.

You are such a piece of shit! I wish I had never met you! Her words echoed over and over in my head, reminding me of her hatred for me.

But if she hated me, I thought, why did she wait all night to see if I was okay? Why was she holding my hand when I woke up? What did she care that I passed out and broke a bone?

In the end, Vic was right. I needed to tell her how I felt about her, even though she might still hate me. I flared up and fought back at her in self-defense, and I was sorry. I never meant it. I was done with the lies, done with covering up my feelings. Those only led to arguments and hospital stays.

I loved her. I loved her smile, her eyes, her laugh. The way she lit up when she was happy, and the way the way her nose crinkled when she smiled. The way she would look at me before all this happened.

I guess I took that for granted. Hell, I guess I took her for granted. And that was the worst part. I can't just let that go- I can't forgive myself for doing that to her; neglecting her like I did. I needed to apologize, I needed to tell the truth.

I looked over at Vic, who had drifted off. He had such a long night, and he found time to stay here with me. I was so touched by that. I thought about Alex, who did the same. I kicked her out, the one who held my hand and cared enough to stick around even though I put her through all this shit. I was sorry, so, so sorry.

It was going to be a long night, waiting for my discharge and anticipating my apology. At least I had Vic.

•••

Alex's POV

I walked in the room and promptly hit the mattress, relieved that he was okay and relaxing finally, all the worry for his well-being leaving my system. Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be fine.

•••

When I woke up, I was still in my street clothes, lying atop all the covers on my face. I groaned, looking towards the nightstand. The digital clock flashed 10:36.

Wait, like 10:36 pm? I rolled over and trudged to the window, pulling open the curtains. Sure enough, I was met with the sight of street lamps and traffic fading into the hot, dark air. I had slept for thirteen hours, right through the day. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Worth it.

"But the alcohol it tastes so sweet when it's mixed with lies and defeat, all the battles I lost and lost again. But what if I was a secret, and you just couldn't keep it?" I sang softly and absentmindedly to one of Jaime's songs as I looked out the window.

"I love it when you sing." Came a voice. I whirled around.

"Holy shit. What the-" Ian flicked on a lamp near the chair he was sitting in, invisible.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He smiled. He had a nice smile.

"What the fuck? You're in my room! Why are you in my room?"

"Because I wanted to talk."

"If you wanted to talk, why didn't you just politely approach me in daylight like a regular human being?" He laughed. He had a nice laugh.

"Chill, I just got off stage duty. I haven't been here long."

"That doesn't change the fact that you were in my hotel room watching me sleep."

"Okay, when you put it that way, it does sound a little creepy. Sorry." We laughed as I crossed the room and sat on the bed near him.

"It's okay. It's fine. You just scared me a little." I said, smiling. God, he was cute. "So, what do we need to talk about?"

"Well," He said, standing and moving to sit next to me on the bed. "I just wanted to tell you..." He looked right into my eyes, lifting my chin up so that I looked up to him. "...that I think you are so, so beautiful. And I think that we..." He took my hands. "We could be something amazing together."

I was stunned. A few days ago, this was exactly what I wanted. But now, I wasn't so sure. I was in love with Jaime, but he obviously didn't want me. He couldn't even stand having me in the same room. So, I thought, why not?

"Will you be mine?" He asked, biting his lip. I nodded, smiling at him. Then, I kissed my boyfriend.