Racing Heartbeats

"You're the only one I need."

"You're never gonna leave this bed. Ever again."
—

I wake with a jump and a gasp for breath when the blaring sound of my alarm clock abruptly pulls me from my dream. After taking a second to catch my breath I groan and turn off the alarm before it disturbs anybody else.

Getting up I put on my slippers and pull on a robe so the other teammates don't see my very revealing pajamas, in my defense it's gets kinda hot in the tower at night. Especially in Summer.

I go down to the kitchen and pour a cup of my favorite morning drink and lean against the counter while I slowly wake up fully. Once I've gotten past the groggy fog of sleep I remember the very vivid dream I had last night and shudder in embarrassment and shame.

What would Bucky think if he found out how I felt? He'd be really grossed out.
Of course it isn't my first dream about him, and probably won't be the last.

After I'd taken a few sips and shook off the dream I walked out onto my balcony so I could enjoy the morning air.

Mornings in the city were very different from back home.. But it was still nice. Horns honking from far away, bustling pedestrians, cars driving by. The clear air up this high and away from the scents below was very nice.

This is how I spent my mornings here. On this balcony, with my cup. Sometimes I'd listen to music or Wanda might sit with me. But that's it.

On really bad nights, like when my PTSD flares up or if the day was just terrible, I'll sit out here until I fall asleep and someone has to pull me back in. But that's pretty rare now days.

I can smell him before I hear him, Bucky.
"Whatcha doin' doll?" He asks at the doorway.
"Just waking up. How 'bout you Buck? Got any plans today?"

"Just the regular training. Might get some groceries with Steve but other than that I'm totally empty. Why? You wanna do something with me?" He smirked down at me and it caused my heart to speed up a little.

"Maybe I do. Wanna watch a movie tonight or something? Maybe go to the pool?"

I try to ignore the way his eyes rake down my form because I know logically he's not checking me out. There's no way he's checking me out.

"I always wanna see you in a bathing suit, Y/n. How about a night swim? Around 8?"
I smiled and nodded at him and he grinned really wide and walked away.

I assume he's going to go on his morning run with Steve. So now im left alone for probably the next hour or so until they get back. Nobody else wakes up until another..

I check my watch.

Another four hours. It's still only 5am and everybody else wakes up around 9 ish.
Especially on a Sunday. Everyone went out last night and they're all hungover now. Well, everyone except Me, Steve and Bucky. We stayed home and watched Shrek 2 per my request.

I feel a ripple across my stomach and clutch it.
"Shit" I mumble. I don't think I'm supposed to start my period soon.. and surely it's not my heat. The suppressants we're forced to take while in the compound keep me from going into a heat until I stop taking them.

It's just for those of us that are unmated or that live in the tower full time. Clint for instance doesn't have to take suppressants since he has an alpha and he doesn't actually live here.

And Natasha doesn't go through ruts anymore because of the forced surgeries.

So it's basically just Me, Wanda, Steve and Bucky who have to take suppressants.. although we can refuse for health reasons. And we do have to take vacations every now and then to let nature run its course so we don't do any damage to our bodies.