Here's the second part!!!
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7:30 AM rolls around, as David's body naturally wakes himself up, since that's the time he gets up every morning. He finds himself staring at the ceiling, lowering his gaze to look around, seeing that Gwen had been up to, staring at her phone screen, eventually getting up and getting ready herself. He sits up in in bed, noticing the sharp pains as he moved his torso. 'God, I would've thought that those would've stopped hurting by now,' he thought, shifting his body so he was sitting at the edge.
He does what he needs to do to look...okay, in front of everyone. Fix up that hygiene, brush out his hair, dabbing on concealer where red spots and bruises were visible, along with his under eyes. They were the heaviest they've ever been. His whole face had been pale, lifeless. Closing his eyes for a moment, he sighs, and nods to himself, in an almost confirmation of something he had to come to terms with. In fact, he did.
If he looked lifeless, he might as well play the part.
Even though it was now the weekend, which means no activities, David still felt like he had so much to do. So much to accomplish, so much to finish, so much to take care of, yet so little time. So many things to say, so many things to fix, to repair, to mend. He didn't even realize that the only broken thing that needed to be mended was himself, but he was to the point beyond repair that he just wanted to shatter himself into so many pieces already.
He didn't know how, he didn't know when, he didn't know anything. All that he knew was that he had to do it, in some way, shape, or form. Whether it be slow and painful, or quick and painless, all that matters is the result. Being a very articulate person, he just wanted to get this done. Not now, it was too early. The time didn't feel right. Getting through the day should be enough.
What he did know, is that he wanted to leave with a message. A lasting one, too. He thought that he would just write a simple letter for everyone, since he was the most honest when he wrote stuff down. Before Gwen got a chance to go outside and keep an eye on the kids, he told her that he'd be inside the cabin, working on stupid paperwork and that he wanted some space so he wouldn't get distracted. Being that David never really asked that, Gwen was slightly confused, but obliged anyways. After she left, he locked the door from the inside, and sat down at his desk.
Blank notebook and pen. They both laid there in front of him. Also sitting there was his almost-empty pill container of antidepressants. No use in taking those anymore. With a shaky hand, he picked up the pen, opening up the notebook to a fresh, blank page.
'Where do I begin? I've never done this before. Even I can't write my own suicide note correctly...I have so much to say, but all in one note? I don't think that's possible...maybe I can write multiple. A simple one for everyone, and two separate ones. One for Gwen, and one for-' his thought process paused.
'Max.'
Max. The one person who, despite saying every mean thing about something you possibly could, stays here. No where to go, no one to go to, Max sticks around camp because it's the only place he can come to feel safe. David couldn't imagine what life's going to be like. Maybe, if things had been different, he could've been under David's care, spending the fall, winter, and spring with him. As much as Max hated to admit it, he always saw David as a father figure. He was the only person who had shown him pure kindness.
And he doesn't even realize how much he wanted that life until that opportunities gone.
The first time being called 'dad', getting that first genuine hug that was more than a second, seeing every achievement, watching him grow up to the person he'll become. He wanted to experience it, more than anything, but carrying this burden of a feeling, he couldn't bring this onto himself. Replaying yesterday in his mind everyday, knowing that no one actually cared enough to find him. No one cared. No one cared. No one cares.
He starts with the letter for everyone first. It reads as follows:
'Never would I have thought that this day would come. I'm sure you all have or haven't, and at this point, things just seem to come together, full circle. From being left by myself for a night, hurting, in pain, I've come to a painful realization. I'm too much. I'm too much, aren't I? I tried to see the good in every little thing, no matter what it made itself out to be. I tried to help everyone to see the same way I did so they could enjoy life like I did. I suppose everyone just...took that as trying too hard. Trying too hard to see the good side. I never always saw the good side, though. Unfortunately, I had to grow up somewhere in which I was forced to see the good side. The hurtful words meant nothing to me, they were only a reason to keep going. Now I know that you can't always see the good in everything. From realizing the bad, comes seeing the good. But, this time, I can't see the good. As hard as I try, seeing the good isn't an option. All that was on my mind was how I was alone and hurting, laying on the ground until morning. I understand, though, I do. I understand why nobody came for me. I guess I'm just forgetful at times.
Seeing everyone get to know each other was truly amazing. All of the relationships that you all have formed is what kept the camp alive, and I hope it continues to. I'll always be with everyone, in spirit, watching you all grow up to become wonderful people. Every single one of you makes a difference, every one of you matters. Please, don't ever forget that.
Gwen, thank you for sticking around. Take care of the kiddos for me. Harrison, keep that magic with you wherever you go. Nerris, always keep being yourself, no matter how eccentric it may be. Nurf, don't be afraid to express your feelings in a healthy way. Dolf, always spread positivity with your art. Space kid, always keep that chipper, dreamer attitude. You'll reach the stars someday. Ered, keep being a role model for everyone. Nikki, never lose your passion and enthusiasm. You're gonna go far in life, just don't bite anyone, please. Neil, share your discoveries, despite how small they may seem. Be open to new things, you never know what you may find. And Max, always keep your head up high. Despite how things may seem, at the end of the day, you're here and you matter.
Oh, and make sure to show appreciation to Quartermaster, despite certain...events. Everyone deserves appreciation.
Everyone can mourn, everyone can be sad, but please remember: don't be sad because it's over, be glad that it happened.
I love everyone.
I'm sorry.
Campe Diem: Camp Campbell is the place for me and you.
- David. <3'
Being too indulged in his writing, he lets a stray tear hit the paper, coincidentally landing on the small heart he drew. He just wanted to get this over with, so he spent the next while writing Gwen and Max's letters.
When the letters are finished, he placed them inside of neatly packaged envelopes, Max and Gwen's being labeled respectively, and the one for everyone had been labeled with a simple 'To Everyone'. Once he sees the three envelopes in his hands, it all just..hits him.
This is happening. He's doing this.
He spends the hours of the morning finishing up all of his paperwork, organizing his desk, leaving all of his personal belongings in the right desk drawer, knowing what he had wrote to Max and Gwen in the notes. He backs up a little, and looks at what he's created. A remembrance, a memorial for what is about to be what was.
The next few hours of his day were excruciating. Seeing everyone laugh among themselves, the bright smiles on their faces as they enjoy their free day with each other. David sat outside of the mess hall, keeping watch of everyone. It was his job, after all.
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Mm, we're getting closer. :)
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YOU ARE READING
The Fire's Gone. (Camp Camp)
Fanfiction*This takes place during/after the episode The Order of The Sparrow* What if Max had actually walked away? What if the wood fell a few minutes later? What if nobody came...? Realizing the reality of the world in which he lived in, David takes matter...