Previously...
I headed back to my car, feeling hollow. I told the two I'd be staying out with the boy I made up for a few hours.
What could I do for a few hours? Stare at the sky?
✶~~-∙•・✦✭~☆~✭✦・•∙-~~✶
TW: Strong language, death, blood
...Apparently that was all I could do. At least for most of the time. I'd stare at the clouds, making out shapes, observing the clouds as they trailed on in the sky and occasionally closing my eyes and listening to the radio...
It was all so peaceful. So relaxing. I could get stuff off of my mind. I even considered going outside at night.
It was like having shower thoughts. A million 'What if's, random questions and my own imaginations came across my mind.
Not even the voices could bother me.
.
.
.
"Hi chat, just talking for today, just felt like I haven't streamed in a while, but I also don't have any streaming ideas." I greeted, reading out donations and subs.
"Thank you Sharla for the 20 dollars, 'what music genre you prefer?', well personally I prefer lofi and pop music."
"Aye, Bey, appreciate the 15 dollars! 'Do you play anything other than Minecraft?'" I read out, "You see- I'd appreciate any suggestions and I'll play the most requested game next stream,"
"Dream, thanks for the 50 dollars," I mumbled, scrunching my nose. Probably someone impersonating him.
.
.
.
"Okay that's it for the stream, thanks for staying till the end you guys, and for all the donations. Good day or night,"
I pressed the 'end stream' button and flopped down on my bed. My eyes were tired for looking at the monitor for nearly 4 hours.
Then I remembered the donation from "Dream".
I propped myself on my stomach and switched my phone on.
No new notifications.
Should've known. Why did I expect anyone to text me? Nobody likes me, not even myself.
Nobody.
...Nobody.
They all had a reason not to.
I shut my phone off completely and flipped myself over, laying on my back and staring at the back of my hand. I reached for the ceiling, knowing I couldn't be able to touch it.
It seemed so close, but I knew I wasn't going to be reaching it. I let my arm loose, letting it flop on the bed.
"They're all so close to me, all my friends. But I can't risk to gove my heart to someone. Not anymore." I muttered, smiling weakly.
I could never trust anyone completely. Even if that person was Miyo. Human relations have already hurt me too much.
Then I closed my eyes, tossing and turning on my bed, trying to get comfortable, but whatever I did, I just couldn't be.
I fluffed my pillow, kicked my blankets, covered my eyes...
Nothing worked.
Then I turned to my right, staring at the palm of my hand. My hands were capable of doing so much- gaming, streaming, cooking...
But were they destined to ever hold the hand of my soulmate?
Did I even have one?
If I did, please let me find them. Please. I won't complain if they're a girl or a boy, smart or funny, childish or mature... just please give me a sign that I have someone, who I will eventually love.
Someone I could completely trust. Someone I could let my guards down with, show my true self, have my heart fluttering...
Just please let them stay by my side for eternity, so I won't have to watch them leave. It's my greed, but someone who won't leave me is all I ask for.
YOU ARE READING
※ Apathetic ※ Dream×Reader
FanfictionYou're one-of-a-kind. You don't feel, you don't know what it's like to have emotions. You've barely felt loved even when you're with the best of your friends. The world's getting boring, you don't feel anything in particular and there's no excitemen...
