TommyInnit never cries

Screaming

Tw: cursing

       I mean it's a funeral, what more
       is there to say

       Broken Tubbo
      
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Tubbo tried to process what Ranboo had just said.

He was mad.

Why hadn't Ranboo told him all of this? This was really important information. They could've saved Tommy. They could've saved him.

Tubbo tried really hard not to scream and to his own surprise, he didn't.

He closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears.

And then Ranboo was next to him again. He felt him looking at him, but Tubbo couldn't do the same. He just couldn't make eye contact. Ranboo lied to him.

Of course he knew why he didn't say anything. He had promised Tommy, but it still hurt. It hurt so much knowing that Ranboo lied to him and broke their trust.

"Tubbo?"

Ranboo's voice was just loud enough for Tubbo to hear and it was then he realised it was his turn.

To go up to the front and talk.

So he stood up shakily and stepped forward. Step after step. Why was everything going in slowmotion?

Tubbo had already forgotten his speech, but at the moment he couldn't care less.

He decided he was going to do what Tommy did best.

Improvise

He looked at all the people in front of him and knew what he had to say.

"We didn't deserve Tommy."

Nobody seemed to disagree, but that could be because it was Tommy's funeral.

"You know, standing here makes it all feel way more real. Tommy really is dead this time, isn't he?"

No one answered

"We could've done so much more. So much. But we didn't. If we just had told each other, maybe we wouldn't have to be here today. If we told each other he maybe would still make us laugh, we could've helped him or I could've hugged him for at least one more time. Maybe  if we had communicated he wouldn't be fucking dead!"

He had been looking at Ranboo for his entire speech, shooting the words towards him. His plan of not shouting failed. But the last sentence his voice broke.

He took a deep breath, trying to collect himself.

"You know what his last words were. I'm sorry. That's what he said and I don't even know what he's sorry for. Yeah, he made mistakes, but they're not last word worthy. A lot of the time he was forced to make decisions. You do realise he is a fucking kid, right? I'm a kid. We all forced him to grow up to quickly. I grew up to quickly too, but I at least had the luxury of not having to make such decisions. Of not getting blamed for literally everything. Of having to carry so much on his back at such a young age. Because you know what? Somebody once told me Tommy is like Theseus and maybe he is. But he's also Atlas, because he carries the whole world on his back. He's Pan because he chased something he would never get. You know what he chased? A home. That's all he really asked for. A fucking home where people would love him and treat him right and we couldn't even give him that. Why did we make it so hard for him and ourselves. If we had just left him alone everyone would be happy now."