i sleep naked ➸ larry stylinson

seventy four

A/N: this book is ending very, very soon. probably less than 10 chapters.

"i'm so nervous," harry breathed, tapping his foot on the floor. louis put his hand on harry's knee to make it stop bouncing but it wouldn't work.

"me too." louis glanced at the boy. "they just got my results in so they don't know what stage i'm in. i'm gonna find out today." 

there was silence between them, a comfortable but nerve-racking silence, and harry could practically hear his breath and his heartbeat in his ears. harry was dreading but longed for the nurse to come out and call louis' name. he wanted to know, but at the same time, he didn't want to, and he was so utterly torn.

louis seemed just as nervous, humming along to every song even if he didn't know it and biting his nails. it was a habit he had always had and told harry that he wanted to break. so harry reached up and gently grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his mouth, placing it instead in his lap.

"do you think that's gonna help me?" louis whispered breathlessly. "move my hand a little farther up."

harry blushed deeply, pulling louis' hand up to his chest and resting his cheek on it.

louis reached over and kissed his head gently and for a long time, before he whispered in the boy's ear, "i can hear your heartbeat, angel."

and harry almost broke down there, he almost fell apart right there in the waiting room. because wow, he loved louis so much, more than a million words could express, more than anything in the world. and the fact that his love was in the fate of another boy's heart was one of the scariest things he could ever imagined. louis could just leave, the lung cancer could be to much and poof, he's gone. and then harry would never be able to get over it, he would never be able to live with himself, never be able to live again, to feel again.

"what are you thinking about harry? are you okay?" louis asked quietly, extending his arm to brush a few stray curls out of harry's eyes. the younger boy nodded automatically, but then he started shaking his head, biting his lip and struggling to hold in a breath he was needing to release. he was afraid if he did that he would start crying, and he didn't want that to happen.

"babe, it could be a lot better than you're thinking. see? louis is fine." louis leaned in and kissed harry. "i can kiss you still. okay? i-i'm not dying." he lowered his voice. "i'm not dying."

"louis tomlinson?" there was a nurse standing in the waiting room, a clipboard in her hand. she looked middle-aged, about thirty to forty years old. louis stood up immediately, taking a deep breath even though he had to let out a few coughs a couple of seconds later. harry smiled at him sadly and let louis lead them hand in hand to follow the nurse.

"come with me, love," the nurse said to louis. "my name is drew, i'm going to be your nurse for today." she led them towards a room down the hall, and had louis sit down on the table with crinkly paper. harry sat in a nearby chair, watching as drew sat down at the computer and typed a few things in. 

"okay louis. so your tests have come in, babe. the doctor will be in after i fill out all these necessary questions. any shortness of breath?"

"yeah," louis said quietly.

"discolored urine?"

louis squinted his eyes, before shaking his head. "uhm, no."

"have you stopped taking prozac yet?" drew looked at him sadly whenever louis looked at harry before shaking his head.

"louis, you need to stop taking it as soon as possible. if we put you on treatment, the prozac could interfere with it."

"but i looked it up and it said that it could help cancer!" louis argued, frowning.