okay.
so.
i don't think i've fully processed it yet, because i haven't cried. i don't think i can cry. because if i do, i'll never stop. zayn was my light, my jesus, the one i always stalked on tumblr and showed my sister pictures of. he's the boy i have seen with my four other sunshines for almost five years. he is in every single one direction poster on my wall.
i. am. shocked. i feel numb. and you guys, i know how you're feeling. god, i know so much. i know so freaking much.
zayn's not dead guys. keep that in mind. he's alive & breathing. he's 22 years old, and i think some people forget he's just a normal person. he's just like you, and me. he has feelings and he cares and he gets stressed and overwhelmed. so please, support zayn through this. because i guarantee that it's just as hard for him as it is for us.
remember: it's okay to cry. it is so freaking okay to cry. we need to stick together, and we SURE AS HECK are not going to abandon the other four. how do you think they feel? their partner in crime, their edge, their "vas happening" boy who talked in adorable voices and laughed and hit all their high notes like the pro he is and the boy i always have seen as such a wonderful friend; he's left the band. and i am praying that this is all temporary. i feel like i need to stop telling myself that it's all temporary, because i'm getting my hopes up.
guys, of course i've contemplated not writing. i mean, who hasn't? zayn left the band. 1/5 of my heart is ripped out. zayn is such an important part of every fan fic i write. he is SO FREAKING IMPORTANT. whenever i see a pic of just the four, there is an actual hole. because that's the way it is. one direction is louis, liam, niall, harry, AND ZAYN. so if they continue to sing together, i hope that they don't keep that freaking band name. because that's not what they are. they aren't one direction anymore.
so, i'll just let you know, i'll finish this book, and letters to the author, but give me some slack, yeah? i don't have it in me right now to write happy things because larry is not the first thing on my mind right now. zayn malik is.
but, while i'm posting this, i have a couple questions for the book:
1.) Louis' POV or Harry POV for the wedding chapter?
2.) First person or third person?
Your opinions are so important to me, so please tell me what you think.
P.S.- my inbox is always, always open if you need to talk. i'm right here. but guys: STICK TOGETHER. we can, and will, get through this. our baby is still alive, he's just... changing his path. yeah? remember, if you smile, it all seems better.
i love you all, and stay strong.
-kayla. x
YOU ARE READING
i sleep naked ➸ larry stylinson
Fanfiction"you're so small." as if to prove his point, louis squeezed harry tightly in his arms, and harry just scrunched up a little bit, snuggling his head impossibly farther into louis' chest. "my pretty paper doll." and when louis squeezed him again, plac...
