Left In The Dark

Chapter 16

THIS IS THE FUCKING BEST CHAPTER EVERRR!

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Driving on my way to my therapy session, my mind was in a million places. As usual. Lately I've just been a complete mess. I thought about how much I was dreading the continuance me and Gabrielle's conversation. Already I was envisioning her with that damn notepad. That stupid pen. And all those fucking questions. Part of me was beginning to feel like this whole thing wasn't working out after all. I'm sad. I'm still hurt. I'm still alone. Recently, even showing up to these meetings has been such a task. I didn't look forward to therapy with Dr. Union anymore. I dreaded it.
I turned right on Duncan Street.

That date with Lazaro was another thing that weighed heavily in my thoughts. It's been a few days since he called. That made me a little anxious. I found myself wondering why he hasn't called. How was I supposed to finish this deal when he's dragging the time out? He was probably doing it on purpose. I was tempted to call, however I didn't want to come across as desperate. But I wanted this over as soon as possible.
I parked my car.

Maybe he didn't really have fun like he claimed. I wouldn't be surprised if I put him off. And for some reason, that thought bothered me a little. Then again, that probably was a good thing. Two additional dates would not be unnecessary; and this way I could still tell my friends that I tried. I fulfilled my part of the bargain. It all worked out for the better I guess.

I walked into the building, checked in with the secretary and headed upstairs for my session. I knocked on her door and Gabrielle gave me the okay to enter. She was sitting at her desk going through come folders. She looked up. Instead of her usual greeting-a warm smile, I was welcomed with an upset but concerned look. Clearly she was not too happy with me at the moment. Slowly, I made my way over to my chair and crossed my legs. My gaze was focused in my lap. Her's was on me. Time passed us by at an agonizingly slow pace. It might have been five minutes, but it felt more like twenty. I twiddled my thumbs and sighed.

"Can we get started already?" I asked after no words were exchanged.

She dryly flipped her notepad open. "Go ahead." She said sounding colder than normal.

I looked at her taken aback by her attitude. I was used to her getting the ball rolling. It was a bit jarring to see her so passive. She rested her chin in her hand which was propped up on her elbow against her desk. Blankly she stared at me waiting for me to start.

"Where do you want me to start?" I asked

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "Wherever you want." She said plainly.

I sighed, seeing that she would be mostly idle during this meeting. Picking the first memory that popped into my head. I closed my eyes.
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It was Valentine's Day. Shawn and I had been together for about 5 months now. And it has been a blissful 5 months. Each day was a new adventure, whether it was just chilling at my house, which is how we spent most days, or going out to dinner or a party. One specific party came to mind:

It was New Year's Eve; Solange had visited to spend that holiday with me. Shawn had this crazy blow out at his club and Solo, Kelly, Michelle and I had a ball in the VIP section. Liquor was at endless supply. This won Solange over immediately being the alcoholic that she was. She told me Shawn was a good catch and to 'hold onto that one'. Knowing that she also approved was a huge deal because, oddly enough she was very protective over me-especially when it came to men. Solange hated Boris when I was dating him, well maybe not hate. But she sure didn't like him. Whenever I would ask her why she would always just shrug her shoulders and say he gave her a bad vibe. Her comments were always brushed off by me. It seems now that she saw something that I didn't. Like she had a new sense. It must be that fact that she was now a new mother. She acted more like a big sister to me than a little one.