Left In The Dark

Chapter 19

Lazaro must have called me at least ten times trying to see if I was okay since I ran out of his house. That drive back was extremely silent and painfully tense. He would apologize at each stop light and ask if he did something wrong. But I didn't answer him at all. I should have known the date was a mistake. I wasn't sure why I reacted that way when he played that song. It was just completely unnerving. Out of all the songs to play, why did he choose that one? To me that was a sign from Shawn. He was telling me to get the hell out of that house.

That was 6 days ago and since then I have been in this bed in the same position: flat on my stomach, arms pinned to my sides, staring at the wall. The sun barely made it inside my room, though it tried its hardest to fight through my closed blinds. My eyes trained on the little lined pattern of the sun's ray. And I would watch them slowly disappear as the sun would set and the moon took its place in the sky. That sequence happened six times. That's how I knew I was in here for that long. Shawn weighed even heavier on my mind than ever. I felt crippled by this pain I was experiencing. My eyes were dry because I barely slept. Honestly I don't think I slept at all.

While I lay up completely engulfed in my dark cloud, my front locks jingled. The door opened and closed and I shot up for the first time in almost a week. I didn't want them to see me like this because I did not want to talk about it. I jumped from out of my bed and shrugged Shawn's shirt off and made a b-line to the bathroom.

"Bey?" It was Michelle's voice ringing from the hallway.

I inspected myself in the mirror and I looked horrible. I had bags big enough to hold groceries underneath my eyes. I was a ghost of my former self. My face was so pale. And I'm sure I didn't smell so hot. I ran the faucet of my sink and gave myself a couple of quick splashes in my face. There was a knock on my bathroom door and I could hear Michelle but there was no sign of Kelly. I let out a sigh of relief. Her loud ass would have said something by now. Quickly I brushed my teeth and gave myself a little bird bath in sink instead of showering in the tub. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my body. I still looked a mess but not as bad as I did 5 minutes ago. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a hug from Michelle and a worried look.

"Bey you look horrible." She said jokingly but I knew there was underlying concern.

I shook my head and played up a faux smile. "Shut up chelles. I'm still trying to find my regular sleep schedule."

She nodded like she understood and took a seat on my bed while I fished for some house clothes.

"So how have you been? It's been a little while since we spoke." I said over my shoulder making some small talk.

"You asking me how I've been? You?" Michelle exaggerated a gasp. "I should be asking you that."

I chuckled lightly. "I can ask too you know."

She laughed as well. "I know, I know. I kid. But I'm alright, I just came by to check on you. I forced Kelly to give you space that's why we haven't really been around or called. I could tell she was getting on your nerves with her abrasiveness at times." Michelle replied.

I shot her a look with an obvious nod of agreement which caused her to laugh harder. I smiled and took a seat next to her once my clothes were on.

"Well thank you very much chelles."

"No problem. But now I feel nosy so tell me what's up? How you been feeling? How has therapy been? Did you go out with that guy? What? What I missed?" She spewed out too many questions at once.

My mind was spinning a little trying to decide which one to answer first. I tried to go in order. What was her first question again?

"Uh..." I paused, thinking about the question about therapy.