LOVE SO FAR

I'll be waiting for you.

When I opened the door and went inside the room; the room seemed cheerless with a small golden light that came out from the bed lamp, which was placed near the window and there was a tall silhouette, which sat on the lounge.

My heart became heavy when I went near that person; whom I was longing to see for the past two months. It ached so much when his childlike face came into my vision. He seemed very dainty while sleeping.

His messy hair and a long subtle on his face made him look more vulnerable. Then I noticed a photo frame, which he held against his chest tightly as he depended on it. After a lot of struggles, I succeeded in removing the photo frame from his hands. But what I saw in it has shocked me, like hell. It was a photo of Krish and mine; in which we were cuddling each other and he was kissing my forehead carefully like I was some fragile thing.

Tears started to blur my vision and slowly they ran down through my cheeks. Few drops landed on the frame and a few landed on Krish's face before I could do anything. He slowly opened his eyes from his deep slumber, I just wanted to hug him right away and tell him how much I've missed him and how much I've missed him.

"Looshin?" He asked in a confused tone. At first, there were many emotions in his eyes, which couldn't be read; but later on, he hides them before I could guess it.

"What are you doing here?" He asked in a sharp tone.

"Krish, I... Am... uh..." I stuttered and tried to reach his hand but he jerked it off causing my heart to break.

"Looshin, I'm asking you what the hell are you doing here, in my house?" He raised his voice, and I could sense anger in his voice, but deep inside my heart, I know that he is hiding something from me and I could see the pain in his eyes.

Before I could say anything, Neil barged into the room.

"What is she doing here, Neil?" he asked Neil annoyingly.

"Buddy, listen she just wants to talk to you." Neil tried to explain.

"I've already made myself clear and I fucking don't want to be her; moreover, I don't want to talk with her. So, please tell her to get out of here."

"But I want to." This time it was me to raise my voice. "I want to know when you've made yourself clear that you fucking don't want to be with me; then why the fucking you have this with you." I raised the photo frame in front of his face. His face widened in shock but he quickly recovered.

"That's nothing." He said nonchalantly.

"If it's nothing, then why did you keep it with you?" I yelled and I could feel the anger in my voice. "Why don't you just tell me, that you still fucking love me."

"You want you to answer for this right?", he snatched the photo frame from my hand threw it away on the floor making the glass of the frame break. "And this is my answer. Now please get the hell out of my house." He yelled and pointed his towards the door.

"Kr.... Kris.." I was on the verge of breaking out, "Why are you..." only to be cut off by Krish.

"Neil, I said her to get the fucking out of my house." He yelled.

After wailing for nearly 15 minutes, I wiped the tears from my face, and then took a deep breath, "That's it. I can't let him hurt me anymore. I want to know the answer to the questions that are running in my mind. Does he not love me?"

"Of course! You Idiot." Says my subconscious.

"Then why did he break up with me?" I asked her.

"Well, you have to ask him."

"Hmm." I made my mind from the conversation that I had with my subconsciousness. "I have to get the truth," I muttered myself.

With anger raging inside me, I walked into the apartment and was about to walk into his room; I was stopped by the breaking voice of Krish.

"I know Neil. I fucking knew that I'm fucking hurting her. But do I have any other option than this?", there was silence for a minute, "You don't know how much she had suffered that night because of my stupidity, and I can't accept or forgive myself for what I've done to her."

"But she already has forgiven you, Krish. And she's willing to continue the thing between you and her. Then, why are you avoiding her." Neil's voice came from the other side of the door.

"No. I can't." Krish's voice raised.

"But why?" Neil's voice also raised.

"Because I sexually abused her. Because I would hurt her; and I can't hurt her. No, I can't, she is my little princess." Krish's voice became heavy. "No... No... I can't hurt. I want her to be happy. And that would be possible only if I quit from her life."

As soon as, I heard those words from his mouth, I lost my cool and charged into the room. Without thinking further, my hand landed on his cheeks with a loud thud.

"What do you think of yourself, huh?" I yelled, "Do you think, I'm a toy or some kind of think of plaything so that you can plaything so that you can play with me?"

"Loosh..." Neil tried to interrupt.

But I cut him off, "Neil, let me talk."

He nodded in agreement.

"So, Mr Krish Malhothra." I looked at Krish, "What did you say? I'll be happy when up leave me." I clutched my fist into a ball, "And do you think that I will be happy if you leave me? First of all, I want to know why you broke with me."

He stayed silent.

"I'm asking you something, Krish", I yelled at him.

"I...I..." he stuttered, "I abused you." He murmured enough to hear and lowered his gaze.

"Oh! Really. But can you tell me, when you abused me and what you did to me?"

He kept quiet.

"And yes! I was angry with you, for kissing me forcefully." Tears started to flow from my eyes, "But do you know what? I couldn't stay angry at you for a long time. And when I back home, you were ready to leave by giving a lame excuse that your dad is not well.

Do you know how many times, I tried to call you but there was no response from you? Then, Neil said that you started to drink and smoke after returning to London, and do you have any idea, how much it hurts me. Then, you just came and said to break up with you; which broke my heart into million pieces. And you even blocked me from all of your contacts. Why Krish? Why?" I sobbed and grabbed his shirt neck and shook him.

"Okay. Enough is enough. Let's get over it. Let's forget everything and Let's start over." I wiped my tears with my palm.

"I'll be waiting for you in the New London Café at noon. If you come then it's assumed that you want to be with me. If you don't then it's a no. But I'll be waiting for you. Please come." I said the last part with grief and left.