Boy Next Door||Axl Heck

The Jeans

   Christmas break had come and gone, Axl and I were back to being best friends again, and I had recently gotten back on speaking terms with Rick.

   I know what you're thinking, and I'll admit I was a bit reluctant to get close to him again, but hes been super sweet. He apologized for everything and said he really did like me, he just didnt want to look bad to his friends about the whole bet thing.

   "Babe are you there? You're all spaced out again." Rick said, putting his arm around me.

  I began sitting with Rick and his friends at lunch. This of course had nothing to do with Rick alone, a lot of basketball players and cheerleaders ate at his table. Deb, Kourt, Sean,.... Axl.

   "Sorry, just thinking." I laughed it off. I was thinking about my dad. Again.

   He was now on life support and my mom was home less and less. It was finally hitting me that very soon, I'd be all alone.

   "Mackenzie, you're kinda being a downer. Why don't you go grab my Chem book out of my car, yeah?" Rick said when I didnt laugh at a joke he had made. 

   I rolled my eyes and took the keys from his hand. I was mad at myself for being such a pushover but it was nice to have someone care about you. Maybe I should get a dog.

***

   I had recently gotten my learners permit, and my mom was pretty good about teaching me how to drive. I guess it meant I could pick her up from the bar when she was too drunk to drive herself.

   Axl was a little older than me, so he was going to get his full license in a few months. To celebrate, his parents bought him a car. Not a great one, but it had wheels and an engine so he couldn't really complain.

   "Kenzie, the other day at lunch what was that about?" Axl asked me, squirting his car off with the hose. I had come over to help him wash it, mostly watch and squirt him with a hose every once in a while.

   "I dont know Rick just likes me to be involved in his conversations I guess." I shrugged it off.

   "Well yeah you're basically his little arm candy, but I meant like the whole spacing off thing. Are you okay? Is it your dad again?" Axl turned the hose off and sat by me on the driveway.

   "Yeah I guess. I miss my mom too, even though I know I shouldn't. I'm just lonely I guess." I said, picking at a rock on the ground.

  "Kenz, can I be honest? I dont think Rick Rogers is the cure for your loneliness." He said and got up to resume washing his car.

When I went to bed that night, I thought about Axl's words. I knew he was right but at the same time, I didnt care. Rick claimed to care about me and sure, he's hurt me in the past but I'd moved on.

   To be fair, Axl had hurt me too. Maybe neither of them were the cure for my loneliness. As much as I tried, I couldn't shake my feelings for Axl. He was familiar. He was home. And I was hurting myself even more by being his friend.

  He would never be ready for a relationship anytime soon so maybe I should just cut him off now before I get hurt worse down the road.

   Why do boys have to be so confusing?