Time To Move On

Chapter 4

this chapter is from the pov of kiri and contains suicidal thoughts, an eating disorder and the viewing of an suicide attempt. please turn away now if that will upset you

Pain. Grief. Fear. Agony. All these negative feelings taking over my mind, blinding all rational thoughts as I looked down at the man who laid in my arms. The tears from my eyes falling onto his whitening face.

I looked up and screamed with every fiber in my body. "Help! Somebody please help!"

I screamed and yelled into the empty air watching as not a single person appeared. I looked down once again watching the light in Bakugo's eyes flicker out.

The last words to escape through his lips being, "I love you. Stop crying."

I jolt out of my sleep in a cold sweat, my heart racing and my breathing staggered. I looked down at my hands and to my relief they were normal. I sighed, half-relief and half-anxiety. This was the third time this week I've had this dream.

"I should talk about this at my next appointment," I thought as I dragged myself out of bed and shuffled towards the bathroom.

I turned the water on, blinding splashing my face and grabbing my toothbrush before catching a glance of myself in the mirror. The bags underneath my eyes were the size of quarters, dark and ragged. My hair in the back was well past my shoulders while the front barely reached my eyes. Results of many nights of impulsive decisions. I sighed before I felt warm calloused fingers reach out to rub my arm.

"Fucking bitch! What the hell," I yelled, jumping and spinning, my quirk activating as I stared at the highlighter yellow hair man in front of me.

"My bad! Didn't mean to scare you like that," Denki chuckled as he held his hands up in mock surrender.

"What are you doing here," I asked letting my hardening drop and turning to reach for the toothpaste.

"Shinsou was worried. He wanted to make you some food," Denki confessed as he watched my every movement.

I nodded my head in understanding before plopping some toothpaste on the toothbrush and shoving it into my mouth.

Denki leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed and cocked his to the side.

"You know what today is right?"

My body tensed and my hand froze, the tough bristles of the toothbrush quickly grazing my gums. I could taste the bitter blood flooding the corner of my mouth.

"I'll take that as a yes. Are you going to finally go? You can't keep avoiding it."

I slowly started to brush my teeth again, stalling for time. Time to make an excuse. Time to find a reason. A reason on why I can't go. Why I keep avoiding it.

No matter how many thoughts ran through my mind, it came up blank. There was no excuse. There was no reason. It was just me being a coward. A coward to face him. A coward to admit that he's actually gone. That's all there is.

Denki sighed and stood straight, turning his back towards me.

"It's only going to get harder the more you avoid it. You have to face it eventually," he whispered before walking out and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I spat the foamy substance in my mouth out, quickly throwing back a cap of mouthwash. A burning sensation filled the corner where the cut had formed and I groaned to myself. I stood there thinking and processing what Denki had said.

There was no way to move on if I didn't try. If I keep myself holed up in this room, the pain is only going to get worse.

"So easy for him to say! He doesn't know the pain! Shinsou is still here. Happy and healthy," I thought to myself as I spit the purple liquid into the sink.