Time To Move On

Chapter 2

this chapter is from kiri's pov and there will be conflicting depressing thoughts so if that makes you uncomfortable please turn away now. 

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I woke up in the dark, dazed and confused as to what time it was, hell, even what day it was. I slowly stretched and pulled the blanket off my body, throwing it to the floor. I stood up, wobbling on my own two feet, and stumbled to the bathroom. I collapsed on the floor and sat there in silence, wondering where everything went wrong. Suddenly the urge to throw up overcame me and before I could open the toilet, I was spewing the little contents of my stomach onto the floor. Over and over, heaving and wheezing until I couldn't breathe anymore.

After five minutes had passed and I could breathe again, I stood up and stripped, sitting myself into the bathtub to clean myself. I turned the water on and let it pelt my body, running away all the filth I had let build up against my body. I just sat there letting myself be drowned in my internal thoughts.

"It's all your fault! You should have been there! It should have been you! You're useless. You're worthless!"

I slowly started to feel myself losing control as I've done almost every day since he's died. I covered my ears and whispered to myself.

"It's ok. You're fine. He wouldn't be mad. He loves you. He loved you. Bakugo loved me," I yelled the last sentence.

I started to cry and my tears mixed with the rapid shower water pouring over my head. I didn't want nothing more than for Bakugo to walk through the door and lean down beside me. Tell me it was all a dream and he was still here with me. For him to slowly wash my hair and help erase all my bad thoughts. I just wanted him here with me.

I sat there with my hands over my ears until I felt the water run cold and my skin was wrinkled. I turned the water off and steadily climbed out the tub, grabbing the red towel hanging beside the sink and wrapping it around my body as I walked back into the bedroom. I looked at the bed and sighed before pulling open the dresser drawer to find it completely empty. I pulled open the next one. Empty. I repeated this process with all six drawers, every last one empty. I turned back towards the bed and ran my hands through my head.

"Looks like I'll have to wash clothes," I whispered to myself as I started to tug the piles of clothes off the bed.

Slowly pulling apart hoodies from jeans, underwear from shirts, socks from hats, and separating them into the most important clothes. By the time I was finished, the pile of clothes that were going to be washed was nothing but Bakugo's clothes. All his hoodies and hats, his merch, and his hero suit, no longer stained as the Hero Association cleaned it before giving it back.

I ran my fingers along the bright orange stripes across the front and circling my finger around the two black dots in the far left corner. I stopped and stared at the gaping hole in the middle of the stripes where I used to always punch him, now a black empty abyss that stares back at me as I stare it.

I picked up the elbow length black gloves and twirled them in my hands, remembering all the times I felt this glove caress my face after a long night of patrol and fighting. Reassuring me that everything I did and was doing was for the greater good. I lightly smiled, for such an easily aggravated and aggressive person, he had his own ways of being gentle and soft behind closed doors.

I just sat there holding his suit in my hands and reminiscing to myself. I caught myself doing this more and more often as the days went by, sitting in silence or sleeping the days away, trying to escape reality. I no longer watched T.V. as everything on it mentioned Bakugo and Uraraka death at least once. I've resorted to Denki for food because the thought of going outside and seeing a memorial for him would be enough to see me into an eternal spiral of despair.

I snorted when I thought of how Bakugo would react to seeing me like this. Wallowing in self-pity and crying every other minute.

I had just finished up with a hostage situation and sadly, two lives were lost because we didn't make it in time. I was sitting in one of the changing rooms of the Hero Association building with my head in my hands. I was silently crying thinking about the families and how I have to go deliver the news their loved one is dead. I didn't notice when Bakugo walked in until he sighed and hit me on the top of my head.

"Ow, what was that for," I exclaimed, my voice cracking at the end.

"What are you crying about? Those people who died," he asked in usual arrogant tone as he looked down at me.

I nodded my head as I went back to staring at the ground, the tears slowly staining my cheeks.

"Look at me," he said as I just continued to stare at the ground.

"Look at me," his voice slowly raising and filling with anger.

"Look at me," Bakugo yelled and roughly gripped my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him.

"What happened to all your 'I'm manly!' shit? What happened to all that 'I need to be tough!' persona? I didn't agree to date someone who cries over one little mistake! We didn't make it in time, it's sad I know! If you let this one situation break you, you'll never achieve your dream of being a manly hero," Bakugo yelled at me, his hand gripping my face tighter the more he spoke.

I realized as he talked, he was shaking, he was genuinely upset. Even though he didn't show it in the same way I did, he was just as upset about the situation as I was. I softly smiled and pulled him by the front of his suit until his face was centimeters away from mine.

"I'm sorry," was all I said before pulling him into a kiss that he immediately returned.

Upon pulling away, I could see the blush steadily creeping across Bakugo's face and I tried to stifle my laugh and failed.

"What the hell are you laughing at," he yelled at me as my body shook with laughter. "I'll destroy you shitty hair!"

"Nothing! Nothing I promise," slowly calming myself as I watched the anger on his face subside as I smiled.

"Come on, Kiri. I'll help you deliver the news," he quietly said as he stood up and walked out the room.

I sat there watching as he disappeared around the corner, leaving me to sit alone with my thoughts.

"That's Bakugo for you," I whispered and smiled to myself before putting my mask back on and walking out the room behind him.

"He always did know how to bring me out a mood," I said to myself, letting go of the glove, watching as it dropped to the floor.

I stood up, picking up Bakugo's clothes, stuffing them into the laundry basket that lay astray in the corner. I heaved the basket up and walked out the bedroom, careful to avoid the basket of food that sat from Denki's last visit.

"I should see if there's anything salvageable in there," I thought to myself, distracting myself from all the pictures that showed past memories.

I grabbed the bottle of cinnamon smelling detergent off the shelf, placing it on top of the pile of clothes and turning into the black painted room. I sighed in relief that it smelled completely of cinnamon and burnt sugar. I stuffed the clothes into the washer, making sure to place all my favorite hoodies on top along with his hero suit, and poured the detergent into the machine. I started the cycle and sat down on the floor, leaning my head against the white bulky piece of equipment, listening to the vibrations and subtle shaking. I let it lull me and calm me as I once again fell into the land of sleep.