The Cost of Becoming a Warrior

Chapter 13- Living a Lie

A few weeks had passed since Marco had spoken with the scouts and so far he was successful in hiding it from the other warriors and Marleyan military officials. Though, this was made easier by the fact that he had been avoiding them like the fucking plague. Even though they didn't know a thing, thankfully, he couldn't bring himself to face them knowing that he was a fraud. He was nothing but a walking, talking, lie. He was disgusted with himself, even though he knows it wasn't his fault. He especially couldn't bring himself to face Reiner, the one who tried to murder him back on Paradis and the one who basically blackmailed him into dropping everything and coming to Marley. Not like he was completely complaining, he'd enjoyed life here and was a holder of one of their most powerful weapons. Regardless, though, all those memories were tainted now that he knows his whole life was built upon a lie. He sighed and stared out his bedroom window, his mind racing, it hadn't stopped for weeks now and seeing Jean and everybody again, as well as the sudden influx of memories that he was remembering seemingly out of nowhere. 

All of the scouts were in complete shock. It was MARCO. Jean wasn't just hallucinating or wishfully thinking. Marco was alive and well, well, as well as you could be after being brainwashed to hate your birth place for years. It was some good brainwashing, they knew it wasn't the same Marco from training. His face was full of hate for them, hate that none of the scouts could even fathom the old Marco even having the capacity to possess. Though, every cloud had a silver lining, this lining was that Marco was willing to at least talk to them and answer some questions, so that was something. Jean was sat by himself in the corner of his room covering his ears, which he always did when he was overwhelmed. It was understandable, he had spoken to his 'dead' best friend for the first time in 4 years. He had been extremely withdrawn since Marco left, his head was seemingly constantly hurting and his mind was racing. He wanted to talk to Marco...and he did, so, why did he still feel so empty? Maybe he had false hope that Marco would come back to his senses and come back to the scouts, he had unrealistic expectations, it was his own fault he was feeling so let down. That only made him worse as he groaned and forced himself up off of the cold floor and dragged himself to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. He was exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted. He just wanted his best friend to come back to him. 

Marco went for a walk around a local park to clear his head and try collect his racing thoughts. He was going through what was basically a whole identity crisis, he wondered if this is what Reiner felt like when he infiltrated Paradis. Marco sat on a bench by a pond and just stared at it for a while, it gave him a short but very welcome moment of peace and serenity. Marco was trying to think of his next steps and how he should act when he inevitably has to face the warriors, including Reiner, again. Should he tell Reiner that he knows what he did to him? That'd probably not be the best idea, no matter how tempting it would be. Marco had 0 clue what he was supposed to do apart from act as if nothing had changed in his life. How was he meant to keep up this act of pretending he was fine when in reality his whole world had come crashing down around him? It was inevitable. Marco was going to get caught in this bullshit eventually. He just had to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. Marco didn't want to die, not yet anyway. He didn't want to die being known as the warrior who was nothing but a fraud, even if it was true.