Why Can't It Be Me?

Chapter 8: Playing With Fire

\\ TW //
* DRUGS & ALCOHOL *

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"Hey, baby." It rang through my ears on repeat like that one nagging song that gets stuck in your head for too long. The alcohol and marijuana mixed with my jealousy and it made my skin buzz, like television static pricking me as I once again, pictured the look on Damon's face when his eye's roamed over Nova.

The same eyes that had glazed over with silky fervent desire and peered down at me like I was his favourite dessert just moments prior. It was torture and yet I couldn't stop thinking about it.

To make matters worse; Nova was great. She was probably one of the most down-to-earth people I had ever met and for the first hour of her being here, we talked about everything and we had more than what I had hoped, in common.

She was an artist, mostly a tattoo designer which didn't surprise me based on the amount of ink that covered the doll-like skin of her body. Nova told me she painted often and that she too, found the most beauty in nature. My dad would have loved her artwork.

She didn't mention the passing of my parent's. While I knew that she was aware, I was thankful that she hadn't brought it up or given me that pity look that people usually would.

I could tell she liked Damon. Really liked him. Often while we were talking she would glance over at him, her face lighting up and she'd give that silver ball in the middle of her lip a tug with her teeth.

I hated that I liked her. It made my stomach turn at the thought that I tried to kiss Damon just seconds before she stood so gracefully at our doorstep, proudly holding treats for everyone. I felt guilty.

"Bella?" Tate's raspy voice cut through the string of my knotted thoughts.

"Huh?" It took me a second to even realize he had sat down next to me on the wooden steps at the bottom of the staircase. I had wanted to steer clear of the people who crowded my small living room but I guess he didn't take the hint.

He chuckled, raising his eyebrows at me in amusement.

"Someone's got the drunken blues." He offered me another drink and I scoffed at him as I took it.

"What makes you think that?" I hadn't wanted to be obvious about how I was feeling but the alcohol definitely did not care. It kind of made me nervous, honestly. The thought of not being fully in control of my body or the words that came out of it, but the alcohol created a fire in my veins that normally wasn't there and I liked the way it burned.

He shrugged, "You looked lost in your mind over here. Seems like you do that a lot. I figured you could use a distraction. I'm good at that."

I chuckled at him and furrowed my brows. He said it with so much confidence, like he knew me so well. And while we had known each other for quite sometime, we never really connected on a deep level. He was usually at his brother's troublesome side and I was too stuck on Damon, I supposed.

"Didn't think you noticed, Tate." I laughed again as I brought the plastic cup to my lips.

"I always noticed."

Our eyes met and probably lingered on each other for too long but something about it was oddly comfortable... Unlike the way Damon's eye's made me squirm under his gaze like prey.