Why Can't It Be Me?

Chapter 9: Same Flowers, Different Story

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It was hard to get out of bed this morning. Mornings have never been my thing, I was more of a night owl so it was no surprise that starting the day always took more effort for me than others. Today, however, was more difficult than most. I wasn't even sure if I was truly awake at this point and not dreaming that I was sitting in the garden of my Horticulture class with Larkin by my side. The sun beamed down on us, it's warmth hugging the bare skin of my arms as I held my head up with them. I barely had the strength to do so. I could hardly keep my eyes open but when I could, I focused on a log of wood that stood tall across the yard. It leaned up-right and on top was a large glass orb that glowed aquamarine in colour. I wasn't sure how it stayed on top of the crooked wood without rolling off but I was fascinated by the way it captured so much light yet it remained hollow, transparent.

Squinting, I glanced over at Larkin; she was sat with her long legs stretched out in the grass in front of her, head tilted back and aimed at the sky as she basked in the sun's rays. Her hair fell gracefully behind her, the natural waves of it swaying gently with the occasional breeze.

"God, butterscotch," Larkin spoke softly but she might as well have screamed with the way my head pounded from the sudden sound. "What are you lookin' at? Always staring off into the distance like a lost soul." She giggled, finally lifting her head up to meet my eyes as she nudged me with her foot.

I don't think my eyes were even focused on anything, my mind was wondering too far to still be in this garden.

"I kissed Tate last night..." The words made me squirm and instinctively my arms wrapped around my body, trying to find some sort of comfort while replaying last night's events. The ghost of his lips still haunting mine...

She blinked at me, completely unfazed. "Who?"

"Tate..." I sighed, forgetting that she had no idea who he was or why I would've kissed him. "He's one of Damon's best friend's. Complete goofball, but a goofball that has grey eyes like that of the moon and calls me sunshine..." I trailed off, rambling but I stopped myself. I shouldn't be thinking about his eyes or the weird but oddly comforting nickname he had given me.

I continue on to Larkin, probably saying way too much and repeating myself often but it was as if every moment leading up to now was floating around me, spinning fast and only gaining more speed. It felt like I hadn't had a second to myself to breathe or to process everything that had happened the passed week. Venting to her made me feel less heavy and restricted, the thick metal bolts that kept my mind pinned shut finally becoming lose enough to let go.

I didn't leave a word unspoken. And she listened to every bit of it. It had been a long time since anyone had listened to me so attentively, like she truly cared about what I had to say. If I was being honest, I hadn't felt this heard since my mother had left and Larkin reminded me of her. Although getting detention was not my finest moment, I sure as hell was glad I did because otherwise I don't think her and I would've crossed paths. Or maybe my mom would've found a way.

We stare at each other for a moment and I watch her as she digests all of the information that I had just word-vomited on to her lap.

"Girl, that was an awful lot to unpack, huh?" Her sigh comes out as a "sheesh" and she sits up, crossing her legs and scooting closer to me. "So what you're saying is, you kissed Tate who is Damon's hot best friend, but you've secretly been in love with Damon for years and he happens to be in love with Nova who is a tattooed, bad-ass Barbie?"

I nod furiously at her, wide eyed. How she had managed to keep up this whole time I had no idea but I silently thanked God.

"I see... And you liked the kiss you had with Tate?" She smirked, moving her dark and perfectly shaped brows up and down suggestively.