Cheat [MxM] (Carter Brothers Book 1)

Chapter 22

WARNING: Chapter contains mentions of drink lacing and attempted assault.

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JAE ▪︎ POV 

I stared in stunned horror at the phone in my lap, the silence painful, like needles pricking through my ears. My face was wet and there was an undignified amount of snot running from my nose, product of the ugly crying I had burst into the moment I picked up the phone. 

It had been so long since I'd talked to him, heard this low voice, seen his handsome face. Worry had been tearing away at my insides like a devil with a knife, making every waking hour uncomfortable to bear. I wondered if he was safe, if Ollie was okay, if they needed me, if they were happy. Yet my calls barely got through to Ezra's phone and when he had managed to reply to my messages, his responses where slow and scarce.

I'd gone through multiple emotional stages - from crippling worry that Ezra was perhaps stuck in his house somewhere drowning in the midst of his family drama - to understanding and forcing myself to lay off my insistent messaging since I knew he was busy and had other things to do. Then I was pissed off at the world, missing him badly and grumbling around like a grinch on Christmas. Self deprecation followed and I wondered if he wasn't answering because I was the problem. Perhaps I was annoying him, being a nuisance on top of his already hectic life. Those heartbreaking thoughts quickly passed however, since I knew Ezra wouldn't think like that. So then, I was back to crippling worry. 

I'd been getting small snippets of information from Jeremiah at work, who was having just as much trouble contacting Evan. Though, he had more luck with his man than I'd had with mine. It had gone from, 'everyone is okay' to 'shit hit the fan, I don't know, it doesn't sound good'.  After that, I called Evan directly, wanting to know why exactly Ezra wasn't answering his phone. 

Evan had sounded pissed off, not necessarily at me, but I felt his annoyance and the growl in his voice travelled straight through the phone, rattling my bones. I'd immediately regretted calling him, feeling self conscious and small in the wake of his thundering emotions. I hadn't meant to make him feel like a bridge between Ezra and I, knowing that it wasn't his responsibility to deal with my obsessive worrying. Evan had been calm enough to let me know that Ezra was dealing with a lot of crap, mostly Renee and their parents, and probably not answering because he was busy. He didn't go into detail but advised I give Ezra a little space. 

But something didn't feel right and I hadn't been satisfied. Taking a step back wasn't what I had promised. I'd promised I'd be there for him through it all, not abandon him while he went through the worst rough patch of his life. That just wasn't me and I felt sick just thinking about it. So, I went back to texting and calling, trying to remain light and quirky with my tone, even though my shoulders were slumping forward, my chest caving in under the stress and worry of it all. 

All the while, I'd been going to work, snapping at the customers, enduring stern lectures from my supervisor about my attitude and then going around to mom and dad's when I had time to help them pack up the last of their belongings. It had been a distraction, but not exactly a positive one. They were leaving and each box I filled with my parent's familiar possessions had me feeling lonelier and lonelier. They'd been waiting out to meet Ezra and I had stupidly mentioned he'd stop round and say hi one day, when I couldn't promise them he would. 

Mum was worried and I had a feeling she thought I was lying to them about seeing someone so that they wouldn't feel so guilty about leaving. I had wanted to assure her that I would be okay, man or not. The last thing I had wanted to do was burden them during their move but everything was quickly falling apart faster than I could put it back together. My fake smiles and over the top laughter as I bustled around the almost empty house was painful, even to my own ears and my dad looked as though he was seconds away from knocking some sense into me. But at this point, it was either laugh or cry.