Cheat [MxM] (Carter Brothers Book 1)

Chapter 3

EZRA ▪︎ POV

It had been two weeks since I had last seen Jae. Two weeks since we'd shared his cigarette and I'd kissed him with his body grinding against me. Two weeks since he gave me his number and told me we could be friends.

During that time, things had steadily been going downhill. I felt like I hadn't slept a full night in years, although it had only been fourteen, excruciating days.

Ollie was sick with a cold and his little hoarse cries of pain through the coughing and sneezing had broken my heart. I'd been sleeping in his nursery, scared as hell he'd suffocate in his sleep.

Teaching a two year old not to sniff up their snot and actually spit out the flem they coughed up instead of swallowing it, was just frustrating as hell.

Ollie also didn't know how to blow his nose yet. I kept wiping his nose with the tissue, trying to explain to him that he had to breathe out through his nose to clear his nostrils so he could breathe better. No success. Just confused whines and more tears.

Not only was Ollie sick, but work had been piling up as well. The contract with the hospital build was going through which meant Evan and I were working to get through red tape as quickly as possible in order to start the project.

Being asked about planning permission at two in the morning, with a sick child and little to no sleep was starting to drive me fucking insane. I felt like I couldn't function properly and was snapping at everything and everyone around me.

Renee was pretty pissed off at me - no changes there. Our night out with her friends had turned into a disaster. There was no denying the tension between us and despite Renee's attempt to make us seem close to the people across the table, it backfired.

Now, I've been hearing non stop from Renee about how I've embarrassed her in front of her closest friends, how I'm tainting her image, how I'm a bad father for not at least trying to make things civil between us for Ollie's sake.

Maybe I was, but god, I couldn't pretend. I couldn't act as though I was happy where I was, as though I loved my wife, as though there was no tension between us at all. Scratch that, tension didn't even begin to describe the dark feelings between Renee and I.

But then again, this whole fiasco just reinforced those feelings. Renee was trying to make our marriage work for image. Not because she loved me, not because she cared. That in itself just pushed me even further away from her shallow games. I was sick of being used.

It was half three in the morning and I was sat on the floor in Ollie's nursery, surrounded by his toys while I filled in paperwork, my laptop beside my stretched out legs, a mug of coffee beside it. I'd run out of energy drinks hours ago.

Every few seconds the silence would be interrupted by Ollie's stuffy coughs or wheezes while he breathed in his sleep. Everytime the noise rang out, I flinched, my eyes darting up, holding my own breath as I waited for his next inhale.

I was being overprotective, I knew that. Kids caught colds all the time. Even Renee was nowhere in sight, perfectly asleep in my old room - now her room, since I'd moved to the spare room. She thought I was stupid for watching over him like this. Colds passed. She wasn't overly concerned.

But it was the fear in me that kept me in Ollie's nursery every night. The fear of losing the most precious person to me. The fear of losing the only person keeping me grounded, keeping me happy through this all. I just... I couldn't loose him.

So yes, I was going to be an obsessive father and sleep on the floor beside his crib so that I made damn well sure he was okay and survived it through every night with this fucking cold. It was the only thing I could do.