Time jump: Stefan's 13 and Damon's 19 now
Author's note: I have no idea if some things are age appropriate or not but anyways, bear with me and any stupid stuff I write lmao 🤓
Stefan's pov:
I'm in my classroom when I see elena pass by with matt, his arms on her shoulder. She doesn't even look at me. She stopped doing that ages ago. She just- just stopped talking to me, sitting with me, being friends with me altogether. It was weird and I thought she was mad at me and I couldn't bear the thought of us not being friends so I went to her, trying to get to know what happened , to know what I did that upset her.
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"Uhm Elena.. " I patted her on her shoulder.. She was sitting with her 'friends', the assholes, Tyler and Matt and I didn't want to approach her right now but I just couldn't wait any longer.. Every time I tried to go near her she changed her path.. She was avoiding me.. I hated seeing that.. She was always with matt out of all people.. I know he was popular and stuff but Elena knew how mean he was with me and how much I resented him.. I had no right to question who she hangs out with, I should just be grateful she's friends with a loser like me, I thought to myself, but I started noticing how she completely started to seperate herself from me.. I remember seeing her holding hands with him, ruffling his hair , like she used to with me.. It hurt me.. I couldn't keep this in myself anymore.. She turned towards me with a confused frown and pushed my hand away.. I tried not to wince at the huet that caused my heart.. " I- can I talk to you?.. Alone.." "No. Say what you want to say here. " I didn't understand why she was acting like this.. It's so not her.. "Um- uh... Please..? " "If you want to talk then do it here or just leave? I don't have time for this.. " God.. Why was she- what happened.. This- I can't believe her.. " I- okay.. Are you mad at me? Like did I do anything wrong? I- I had no intention- can- can you tell me why you're not talking to me anymore?" "Why would I talk to you? You're a loser. I don't know why I was friends with you in the first place. " She got up and walked away, the rest of them laughing at me. I stood there. Frozen in place. Not knowing what to do. How to react.. What just happened.. I felt tears forming in my eyes but I furiously wiped them away. She just threw away what we had because I was a loser. A stupid kid who barely speaks and gets bullied and beaten all the time. Why would anyone want to be friends with that guy. I get it. I wasn't mad at her. I was mad at me.
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I realised that day that it wasn't anything i did.. It was just that I, as a person, was unlikable, unlovable .. She was friends with me when she was younger, naive, she didn't know how messed up and useless I was . I understand. Why wouldn't she want to be friends with popular people who didn't face any sort of bullying. Why would she be with me instead? A messed up stupid kid who can't even defend himself most of the times. But that doesn't lessen my pain. If anything, it amplifies it. I realised long time back that what I felt for her was something friends don't feel about each other .. I liked her, loved her in fact. I couldn't ever say it, of course.. I knew she wouldn't return my feelings , not even when we were friends, no question about now. All I could do was write a poem for her. Poems. I didn't show them to anyone. Kept them to myself. Wrote them when I felt like crying, but there was no one I could tell this to so this was the way I let it all out. It was relieving to do this. I saw matt kissing her cheek and her hesitantly smiling.. My heart clenched at the sight.. I felt tears burn in my eyes.. Why was I feeling this way? Didn't I already know all this.. They clearly liked each other.. Why did it break my heart. I saw matt turn towards me and smirk at me smugly.. I averted my gaze.. Swallowing my tears.. I went to the restroom to avoid any of this. I couldn't help but remember all the times we had fun. The times she consoled me when I broke down. The times we did our homework together, cursing the hell out of Mr tanner. Laughing and giggling.
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