Warrior

93

By the time I got downstairs, I saw that everyone was already seated at the table, the boys already eating.

"Monsters," I heard Maira grumble.

"If it means getting cannolis first, why not," Akash said, and his mother shook her head.

"Come Khushi," Mama said as she spotted me, "hopefully we'll still have a chance."

I sat down in the empty chair beside Arnav and glanced at him from the corner of my eye, only to see him do the same. The rest of us began to fill our plates and eat, but while everyone ate in peace, my mind only continued to echo Arnav's words, Dr. Leela's words, and now even Amma's words.

Fucking hell, I can't-

"Everything okay, dove?"

Looking up, I see that Shalini is looking at me with concern.

"Are you alright," Varsha asked.

"I'm fine," and I pinched my lips together to form a smile.

"Are you sure? You didn't even practice today," Maira said.

She's right, I haven't.

"Are you sure everything's alright, Khushi," Mama asked.

I hate to do this. "Yeah, just really full after eating at Amma's," I lied. "I feel really bloated, I think I'm just gonna go up and lie down."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, sorry for wasting food, excuse me," and I got up to wash up.

I feel bad but... fuck, I feel like shit!

Once I was washed up, I quickly made my way upstairs. I changed into my sleepwear, opting for a green satin tank and shorts set, then took care of my business and went to bed. As I laid on my back, the quietness of the room didn't help so much, allowing for the events of today to echo even more in my head, to the point where I think I'm going to lose my damn-!

There was a knock at the door and it opened, and in came Arnav. His eyes immediately landed on mine as I looked at him. Not saying anything, he closed and locked the door, then headed into the closet.

I wonder if he's going to say anything.

Me too. I mean after everything he said earlier... I wonder.

You and me, both.

Some time later, Arnav came back into the room and took care of his business. Moments later, he came to bed and shut the lights off, laying on his side, facing his back to me.

Not again.

"Can I ask you something," he asked softly.

Oh! "Yes."

"What... what did you mean when you said well why aren't you?"

What-?

"Khushi, stop it! I'm not the enemy here-"

"Well why aren't you?!!!!"

Oh....

I cleared my throat. "Well, um... if you were... if you were the enemy then... then I could leave and... go back to being alone," I nearly whispered as I twiddled with my thumbs.

"I see.... Is that what you want?"

I felt my heart thud in chest.

"Do you want to leave," he asked, his tone still soft.

My heart only raced, so I took in a deep, calming breath, then let out. "No."

Arnav only hummed in return and I looked at him. All I could see was his dark hair, and the back of his black t-shirt and gray sweats. Taking in another deep breath, I moved closer to him and brought my pillow along with me.