The Never Ending Train

23 Remembrance

As if turned on by a switch, I'm suddenly attuned to every square centimeter of Scarlet's bare skin touching my own. Aware of every affectionate action I've shown her ever. Aware that my memories are slowly coming back. After having seen the woman who built the train, Denna. The woman who I saw at the station when I first woke up on the train.

It all makes sense now. Denna had me take the memory tampering without my consent. She forced it on me, but I know it was because she wanted to protect me. She wanted me to live, and I would not leave her behind if I had kept my memories. It doesn't make it right, but I understand.

"I need to speak to Denna," I tell Nora. She looks up at me with sad, tired eyes, just nodding. Guilt grasps my heart at seeing her defeated face, knowing we should spend the rest of the time we have left together, I should be there for her. But I need to talk to Denna. How long has it been?

Not Denny, my husband. I don't have a husband. Our wedding floods my mind. All the white, all the cheering and laughing. The blue, empty sky, no trace of the black mist anywhere. My newly wedded wife, so healthy and such a big bright smile on her face. No wrinkles, no bags, just pure happiness.

No, not Denny, my husband. Denna, my wife. How has she lived without me, while working so hard? Pride fills up my lungs for her, she's done such amazing feats. Most of the world doesn't remember anything anymore, but I'm positive her legacy will be remembered for generations to come. Forever, in my heart.

I approach Angela and Denna, still hugging and crying, and more memories flood my mind, giving me a slight headache. But the feelings I can't even describe drowning my lungs easily pushes it away. I remember meeting her for the first time, so young at the time. Keeper was so protective of her. She wasn't shy at all, or distant, or cold.

"Oh my god, stop! You're so gross." She said, pushing Keeper away. She looked back at me, a little smirk on her face. "Hi! I'm Terri, this idiot's cousin." Tears spill out quickly and I choke on a sob.

They finally notice, breaking their embrace. Angela, no, Terri, my best friend. She looks so different. Has a completely different look in her eyes. It must have been horrible for her, watching me with her memories intact.

"I know it's a lot to take in right now, I don't know how else I can comfort you. You should spend the rest of your time with your friends." Denna says, trying to wipe the tears from her face. She stands up as she says it, trying to plaster a polite smile on her face. How can she still try to keep things together when she's been working so hard these past few years? When she lost me and has to watch as I take a new girlfriend? When she knows she's going to die soon?

The thought chokes me up even more and I start crying like a baby. I fall and she rushes in. More memories:

When we found out we had the same class together. Some jerk wasn't looking where he was going and bumped into me, sending me spiraling downward. She rushed in then, too. Catching me in her arms. When we realized who each other was we separated so fast I got light headed.

I fall into Denna's arms, unable to stop my crying now matter how hard I try. They still don't know. Denna has to hold me and comfort me like a stranger. She's holding herself back still, though now she's crying along with me. I need to tell them, but I can't get a word past my lips.

Upon hearing me break down, Ophelia, Nora, and Kai soon join in. Angela sobs quietly. Soon our jet is filled with the cries of defeat, despair, hopelessness, and broken love.

An hour easily passes by. I only come to stop crying when our jet shakes violently and tilts to the side. Someone comes out of the cockpit. "Miss! The mist will be upon us very soon. I've just checked and all trains are all running ahead. They are in no danger. Our job is finally done."

Denna wipes her eyes. She nods at the guy. "Thank you Jason. Spend the rest of the time with your family. You're officially off of work."

He salutes. "It's been an honor, Miss Gursway." He retreats back into the cockpit. Silence reigns for a moment, all of us have stopped crying.

"Gursway?" Someone squeaks from the other side of the jet. I turn and meet Nora's eyes. As if it was possible, her eyes dim even more. Kai looks up, not really affected. Ophelia ignores the rest of us, still looking at the floor.

I can't bear it. I hate to see her like that. Her once piercing gaze has dulled into a crushed soul. I crawl forward towards her. "I'm sorry, Nora. I didn't know. If I did I would have never, I would have never. I didn't know." Surprisingly, more tears come out. I thought I had cried myself dry.

"You-you remember?" I turn back, still on my knees. Denna looks at me with hope, taking away 5 years in an instant. Terri stands up from the couch, a surprised look on her face. When I look at her closer, I see some of Keeper.

I turn back around to look at Nora, she has her knees pulled to her chest, her hair reveals a slit of space where her eyes look through at me. Then I shift again to look at Denna and Terri.

I curl up in a ball, in the halfway point between Denna and Terri, and Nora. "Yes, I remember." I whisper. I don't think they heard me.

My heart breaks.

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:((