Three years later..
I woke up, my hair messy and my lips swollen. I remember last night and grin. I change and fix my hair. The TARDIS hums in my head. I freeze, "What do you mean Rose is sick?" I ask her. Humming. "Oh God." I sprint out and to Rose's room. I hear her throwing up and I scrunch my nose up. "Rose?" I ask softly, opening the door. She's knelt in front of the toilet, holding her own hair back. "Oh, Rose."
I hold her hair back. "Go away." She croaks and throws up again. "Never." I rub small circles on her back. Words. I'm writing words. Gallifrey had this little song that we sang to children when they are sick or hurt. When she's done, she washes her mouth off and I flush the toilet. "What was that? The words didn't make sense." She asks. "In Gallifrey, those words were the lyrics to the song we sang to hurt or injured children."
She nods. "Can you actually sing it?" I nod, "I will do it while you eat. Now, Allons-y!" The TARDIS made her light breakfast. I sit on the counter. "Sing it." I smile. "Okay." I sing it softly for her. She smiles at me and listens quietly. When I finish, she comes over and kisses me. "You have such a nice voice." She whispers. "Yeah?" I pick her up, onto my lap. "Yeah." She kisses me, hard. "Rose..." I warn against her mouth as she undoes my top button. "Rose, that's not a good idea..." I breathe. She kisses my neck and I clutch her hips. She scratches my skin and I moan softly.
My hearts are racing. "Mommy!" I hear and Rose quickly gets off me with a groan. I chuckle. Alexandra runs over. "I'm here too." I say, laughing. I pretend to be offended. She giggles and says "Sorry, daddy." in Gallifreyan. I'm shocked I never taught her that. "So sorry daddy. I thought mommy was the only one here." She says in Gallifreyan.
I get off the counter and kneel by her. "Alex?" I whisper. "Yes, daddy?" She refuses to speak in English. "Where did you learn to speak that language?" She points over my shoulder. "Mommy." I look at Rose and she smiles softly. I pick Rose up. "And this is why I love you." I kiss her gently, resting my hands on her hips. Her arms gently wrap around my neck, one hand sliding into my hair.
Rose scratches my neck and I moan softly, muffled by her mouth. "Ew!" Alexandra cries and I chuckle, pulling away. "What's up, baby?" Rose asks her, picking her up. "Zeke hit me!" She cries and I sigh. "Zeke!" I call and he comes, running. "Why did you hit your sister?" I ask softly. "I didn't! She hit me and I went like that." He taps my leg. Defiantly not enough strength to hurt anyone. "So Alex lied?" I ask. "No I didn't!" She yells. "Alright, lets make this easy." I say and I stroke the counter. "TARDIS, what happened?" I ask softly and she hums in my head.
I groan. "Alex and Zeke, both of you to your rooms." They groan and as they leave Alex shoves Zeke and he falls on his face. "Zeke!" I yell and I cradle him as he sobs. "Alex, that's not nice!" Rose scolds, harsh. She knows how connected I am to our son. "What this?" She slaps him and he curls into me. "Stop!" I bark. "What is wrong with you?" I yell and she has tears in her eyes. "Doctor..." Rose soothes and she rubs my back. "Why don't you get Zeke cleaned up?" she suggests and I get up.
I storm off and I go in my room. I clean him up and put an ice pack to his arm. "Doctor." I spin around. "What, Rose?" I snap harshly. She cringes back. "Forget it." she squeaks and runs off. "Rose, wait!" I yell after her. I sob on my knees. "Daddy, don't cry." Zeke soothes and gets up. He hugs me. "Mommy is just scared." He whispers. "How do you know?" I ask. "The TARDIS told me." I look down. "Stay in here." I go off and I find Rose crying in her room.
I lean on the door frame. "What was it that you wanted to tell me?" I ask softly and she looks at me. "Why should you care?" She yells. "Obviously you wouldn't want another kid after what Alexandra did!" my eyes widen and I pull Rose in my arms. "Oh, Rose. I'm so sorry. I'm just upset. You know how emotional me and Zeke's connection can get. Please forgive me." I beg, ,tears stream down my face when she squirms. "Please, please forgive me!" I sob and she shoves me off. "Get away from me." She growls in Gallifreyan. I sob, covering my mouth. My elbow is supporting me. "And stay away."
-+-
I haven't exactly been the same since Rose said that. I have been distant from both my kids and Rose. I'm a terrible father. Rose was right before. When I found out that she was pregnant with the twins. Jack would keep me company but only when I need him. The other day I heard Rose tell Jack that she would prefer him to be the baby's father.
It crushed me. I haven't left my room since she told me to stay away. All I have done was cry and have a rare nap. Sometimes, Captain Jack would have to come and soothe me to sleep, because my sobs woke the twins up. I wake up screaming at night from a nightmare. I always have nightmares but never this bad. I haven't ate which resulted in me getting sick like six times this past week and a half.
Jack urges me to eat but I refuse. Rose argues saying she doesn't want to be near me. But everyone knows that she's the only one that can drag me out of this state. I don't even talk. Not in English or Gallifreyan. I want my Rose back. I didn't mean to scare or upset her. I was just upset. Zeke reminds me of my old son, it's hard.
Jack comes in my room and forces me up. "You are eating with your family. Like it or not." He snaps and forces me to get ready. I go into the kitchen, hands in my pockets. I have my head down while Jack pushes me to the table. "Daddy?" I hear Zeke say softly when I sit. I look up and Zeke gasps. Alex covers her mouth and Rose winces, turning away. "Come on, Doctor. You haven't spoken a word. You haven't ate. You haven't slept. Worst of all, you are never up for an adventure." Jack says and I rest my head back. Tears well in my eyes.
Jack sighs, "Doctor.." Tears spill out of my eyes and I look down, covering my mouth. I sob and close my eyes. "Go give your dad a hug, he needs it." Jack whispers, and my two precious children come over and hug me. I hold them in my lap. "I love you." they tell me I don't answer. "Rose.." Jack starts. "You may get my children to forgive him Jack, but I'm not them." She snaps back, resulting me to sob harder. "Mommy, be nice to daddy." Alex whispers. "Shut up, Alex!" She yells back. "Oh my God, Rose! You're such a hypocrite!" Jack yells. "When the Doctor yells at her, it's a problem! But when you do it, it's okay? That's so bitchy!" He yells at her and she looks away. "You're right."
I look at her, shocked. "Guys, can I be alone with him?" They leave and Rose comes to me. Instinctively, thinking she will hit me, I cringe back. "Hey. Hey, it's okay..." She coos and runs her fingers through my tousled hair. I whimper softly, my hearts are racing. "Shhh..." She coos and pulls me to her. I sob in her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Doctor." she says softly. She gently pulls me into her room. She closes the door and gently presses me on it. She reaches up on her tip toes and presses her soft lips on mine.
She gently kisses me and I stiffen. I don't move. I don't kiss back. I just look at the ceiling, letting her kiss me. My hearts didn't slow their rapid pace. She doesn't stop kissing me, though. She actually presses closer. "Come on, respond." She whispers and licks my lip. I whimper in pure fear. "Shh.." She soothes and curls a hand in my hair. Tears stream down my face. She's scaring me. All the memories of all she's said is playing in my mind and the sudden gentleness is scaring me.
I cry softly as she gently strokes my cheeks. "Come on." She whispers and presses closer. Carefully. I whimper loudly and she undoes my first couple of buttons on my shirt. She scratches my skin and a small moan escapes me. "That-a-boy." She murmurs and presses closer. Her lips are soft on mine. I keep my eyes on the ceiling and I whimper. She takes my wrist and carefully wraps my arm around her waist. I snatch it away, starting to sob.
She pulls away, slowly. "Am I scaring you? Oh God. I am, aren't I?" I truthfully nod. "Oh, Doctor. I'm sorry..." She coos and I sprint out. "Doctor, wait! Please!" She yells and I lock myself in my room. I lay down, curled on my side and sob. "Tardis unlock." I hear a soft voice whisper then my door opens. It closes and locks. "Doctor.. Please." She pleads. "Forgive me." She crawls on the bed and kisses my cheek. "Rose, you're scaring me!" I cry as she kisses my throat. She pulls away quickly. "Y-you spoke." She whispers and then Jack comes in.
