Golden

52

Harry's POV

I would never get tired of watching her sleep.
There was something so calming and so beautiful about seeing her inhale softly with her eyes closed, her long eyelashes curved upwards towards the sky, her cheeks dusted in rose from being pressed against the pillow with her pink lips slightly parted as her chest lightly rose and fell with each steady breath she took. It was reassuring to see her be so still, so serene and really rest, maybe for the first time in years.
Admittedly, I had been slightly relieved when she was in the hospital and under the watchful eye of the nursing staff and doctors. They kept her calm and at ease, and not to mention, she had a steady stream of pain medication free flowing through her system that fogged her otherwise sharp memory and cloaked her demons in a misty, indecipherable haze in the back of her mind. That powerful medicine actually allowed her to sleep through the night (and most of the day) without much interruption or disruption. It gave her body the proper time it needed to begin to heal, which was the most important thing to all of us. That clear IV drip embedded deeply in her arm enabled her to sleep without her usual, traumatic nightmares that haunted her dreams and kept her awake and terrified, likely too afraid to even try and close her eyes again.
Over the last few weeks, I had grown used to studying her profile from beside her while she slept, finding myself so captivated by her beauty even though she was still bruised and had small cuts and abrasions on the surface of her skin. Her hair framed her face in a soft, dark halo as her head rested against one of her many pillows that she was always sprawled out on. I knew she would hate it if she knew I was watching her so intently, especially in this state, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to engrave every part of her to my memory, for now and for always.
After a few nights of contorting my body into that tiny chair next to her bed in her childhood room at her parent's house, Lucy had offhandedly noted how uncomfortable it seemed.
"I don't mind it," I lied readily, pretending not to notice the painful crick in my neck from several nights of twisting my limbs to fit in the small and awkwardly shaped furniture. Her parents had told me I could sleep in the guest room numerous times already; but they knew I would never take them up on it. I only left Lucy's side when Ellie dragged me away for another game of Scrabble so Lucy could have some much needed and deserved alone time. Ellie was protective of Lucy's not-so-secretive desire for privacy and solitude, while still making sure that she was conscious of my feelings and how badly I wanted (maybe even needed) to be around her whenever I had the chance. Ellie walked that fine line of defensive older sister and understanding confidante very delicately and I was greatly appreciative of her ways. But still, every night, faithfully, I would twist myself into that impossibly small chair at the side of Lucy's bed, pretending to fall asleep first until her medicine kicked in and I could watch her sleep, grateful she that was safe and sound and with me at last.
"You...you could...you could join me," Lucy offered quietly as I shifted around in my seat, still grinning to not show how uncomfortable I was already in the minuscule chair. She scooted over in her sheets to show how much more room there was on her plush mattress, certainly enough for both of us. "You could join me in bed." Lucy paused uncertainly, glancing down at her hands on her lap on top of the covers as she prepped herself for a rejection. "If you want."
I rose to my feet immediately, not needing to be asked twice. I saw the small smile tug at the corner of her lips as I carefully crawled into bed with her, adjusting the blankets over the both of us as she nestled into my side, her figure forming perfectly against mine as her head rested against my chest instead of her usual pillow.
I heard her sigh in familiar contentment as I reached over and shut off the lamp on the nightstand, the darkness enveloping both of us suddenly, though she didn't seem to be afraid of it anymore. I felt her begin to drift off into peaceful slumber and her breathing patterned even out as I matched my own to hers. My heavy eyes gradually closed as my hands still held onto Lucy's body like it was the very first time I had ever shared a bed with her.
It was the best night's sleep I had in months.
Each night, I had to remind myself not to reach out and touch her while she slept, even though my hands were sometimes trembling from holding myself back. I didn't want to disturb her; but it took all of my self control not to run my fingertips against her cheek or press my lips against hers to wake her up with my tongue, which I knew was both of our favorite ways to be woken. So instead, I silently let her sleep, knowing she needed it.
I had grown so used to her slumbering soundly that I had almost began to forget all about the traumatic nightmares that had plagued her for years. But the night her prescription ran out and her medicine finally wore off, she woke up screaming so loudly that it shook me to my core and I remembered the paralyzing terror it all too well.
Her ear-piercing howling ripped through me like a bullet as I bolted up in bed beside her. Her eyes were still pinched shut tightly as she thrashed wildly against the mattress, whimpering and choking for air as she struggled in her hellish dreamscape.
"Lucy!" I called out helplessly to her, trying to wrangle her flailing limbs. She was so much stronger than I realized even after being bedridden for so long. "Lucy!"
She opened her mouth and shrieked again, using all of her energy to fight whatever she was seeing behind her shut hazel eyes.
"Lucy!" I tried loudly again, narrowly ducking out of the way of one of her bandaged hands that flew right by the left cheek. "Lucy! Please wake up! It's a nightmare!"
"Get away from me!" She screeched loudly, her voice hoarse. "Leave me alone!"
"Lucy! It's me!" I reminded her, though I wasn't sure she could hear me over the volume of her own bellowing. "Harry! It's me! Harry!"
Her body suddenly gave out as she crashed against the pillows in an abrupt halt. I hovered over her, brushing a stray piece of hair out of her sweaty and terribly red face. She was breathing heavily, clearly exhausted from exerting so much energy that she wasn't used to. Her eyes were desperately trying to flutter open; but she was so drained and fatigued that she couldn't seem to fully wake.
"I want Harry," she murmured softly, just above a whisper, almost like she was crying. She was talking in her dream, speaking to someone or something that I couldn't see, trapped in the brutal confines of her own mind. "Harry. I want him. I want Harry. I need him. I need Harry."
"I'm right here," I assured her fervently, cupping her lightly cheek in the palm of my hand. She was burning up. Her skin felt like fire. I was panicking at how overheated she was. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."
"Harry," she repeated louder, her eyebrows furrowing in deep concentration. "Harry."
"I'm here," I said again, my heart thundering in my chest as I gazed down at her, wanting so badly to shake her awake, but she couldn't even open her eyes . "I'm always going to be here for you."
"Harry. Harry. Harry," she kept saying over and over again, like my name was some kind of holy mantra or sacred prayer. "Harry..."
I loved the sound of my name on her lips.
"Lucy."
I spoke her name and she fell silent. Without opening her eyes, her body at last relaxed against the sheets and she didn't stir for the rest of the night.