Nightmares

Episode 4.7

I don't remember the ride to the hospital.

I'm waiting outside the ICU. Constantly praying. The clothes that I chose for the interview, my white shirt, everything's bloodstained. It's been four hours, time 11 pm. No one's here except me. The hospital hallway's looking quite scary in itself. I'm not pondering about what happened at the house and what didn't. I'm thinking about just Joshua. If something happens to him, I'll kill myself.

The door opens. A doctor comes outside to me while his team, some assistant doctors, and nurses left.

"Doctor, how is he?" I asked earnestly

 "The boy has lost a good amount of blood. He has serious head trauma, lacerations on his body, and some internal bleeding," he said and my pupils got wider, "But, he's out of the critical situation, so you don't need to worry,"

Goodness, I closed my eyes and took a little sigh of relief. Thank you so much, God!

"What happened to him?" the doctor asked, "He's hurt pretty badly,"

"I...I-I don't know. I came home and he was...he was just....." I trailed off. I might cry if I continue.

"Don't worry, he'll be fine," he said, "You should call the police if you think someone did it,"

"Y-Yeah," I nodded. "Can I go...see him?" 

"Yes, you can, but he's not conscious yet," he said

"It's okay. I really need to see him," 

"Hm, if anything happens, inform us,"

"Ok, thank you, doctor," 

Now it was just me. I opened the door and entered hesitatingly. I went near and sat on a stool beside his bed. A blood transfusion bag is hanging over a stand, with the letter A on it, his blood type. Bandages on his arms, one below his chin, on the right cheek near his ear, above his left eyebrow, a gauze piece on the forehead to stop the blood from his head injury. Some minor cuts here and there. It's my Joshua, my baby. I didn't realize when my tears started flowing down my face. I failed to protect him. He told me not to go, I was selfish. I thought it'll be good for both of us if I get the job, now it's all because of me that he's in this state. Only if I hadn't left him alone...

I lightly touch his face, being cautious of his injuries, go closer and kiss his closed eyelids. "I'm sorry,"

It's 8 in the morning. I sat in the same place watching him all night. Without eating or drinking anything, without sleeping, in the same dried blood clothes, my face was still wet with tears. Just praying and praying for him. I couldn't look anywhere else even if I wanted to. Whenever I leave him, even for a minute, bad things are drawn to him.

The front door was locked when I came back, so was the backyard door from inside, no one can climb up so high to the balcony, even if they did, I had locked it too. Then, how? Joshua can't hurt himself that badly too if something did scare him. My mind is going to the art room again and again. The clown's painting was on the floor, the same as his mother's portrait, also the door was opened in both situations, while I definitely locked them. Something is definitely wrong with that house, I'm sure. 

Should I tell the police about it? No, I don't have enough energy right now. His father? I've never talked to him before and if I tell him that his son, no, no, that's certainly not a good idea for now. I should wait first for him to wake up. Only he can tell what happened there.

The doctor came after some time to do some check-ups. He looked a little surprised that I was still here. "You didn't go yet?"

"I will. When he wakes up," I said

The doctor was replacing the blood bag with a new one, "He takes drugs?"

"Excuse me?" I said bewildered

"We found some amount of benzodiazepine in his blood, it's a kind of drug,"

"Sleeping pills," I corrected, "He's insomniac,"

"Oh, ok," he took a pause and said again, "Does he live alone?"

"I'm...I'm living with him,"

"Ah, anyway, have you talked to the police?"

Are all doctors these friendly and soft talkers? "No, I didn't think about it yet,"

"You should do hurry in these cases," he said

"I-I can't leave him alone,"

"You worry too much for him," he chortled, "Your lover?"

"Huh?" I stuttered, "Y-yeah, my...my boyfriend,"

He did a nod and speaks after a moment, "You remind me of myself," I stared at him, "My wife was suffering from malaria a few years back. I took care of her completely forgetting about myself. Later, she got well and I got sick," he laughs

He came to me and said putting his hand on my shoulder, "Go home and think with a cool mind what to do next, hm?"

"But he'll be alone, I'm afraid, what if something happens again,"

"I'm here. Other doctors, nurses, and all hospital staff is here to take care of him," he said, "That's what we're best at,"

I don't know why but this doctor seems trustworthy.

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