James Potter did not grow up because of Lily. Or yes maybe partly. But mostly he realised there is a war coming. There are more important things than being cool or popular, like fighting for a greater good.
Later when he realised that Snape was also in the Order of the Phoenix, he took it relatively well. He realised that there are worse enemys than Severus Snape. For example Voldemort. James and Snape could never become friends, but they despised each other in silence, and were mature enough to put their rivalry to the side while fighting Voldemort.
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Marauders headcanons
FanfictionSome of my headcanons of the marauders. They may not all align with each other. Thank you for reading!