Shirabu's POV
TW: Mention of Toxic Relationship
"Kenji, nice seeing you. Seems you didn't quite get my texts, now did you?" Kawanishi said with that shit eating grin of his. For the most part I was shocked. Seeing my ex out of nowhere wasn't exactly what I had planned for the night.
"What do you want?" I asked looking anywhere but his eyes, but ultimately deciding to place them on the floor.
"You know what I want." He said.
"Ya, well seems like you fucked up your chance at that." I replied and then tried to close the door but was stopped by him placing his foot in the way.
"Come on Kenji. I know you want the same thing." His grin only widened from here. He made me sick, constantly hurting me and then coming back as if I want anything to do with him.
"Don't call me that." I said now looking him in the eyes.
"Aw, but its such an adorable name. A cute name for a cute person."
"No. You don't get the right to call me cute. You don't get the right to even say my first name, much less a stupid nickname you gave me. I broke up with you for fucks sake, so get over it already."
"Which doesn't even make sense. I mean I wasn't a bad boyfriend. I gave you attention, gifts, what more could you want?"
"I don't know maybe a boyfriend who actually wanted to be with me and didn't say he loved me because I was the only available person. Every second I was with you, it felt like hell. The constant controlling and manipulative attitude. You had an image of the perfect boyfriend, and I just didn't make the cut, did I? So for 2 damn years, I tried to belittle myself to fit your expectations. Your image of 'the perfect boyfriend'! Well I guess I didn't really stick to the script now did I?!"
"I never made you do anything."
"Really?! You never made me cut off all contact with my friends?! Never had me do whatever you wanted cause it went along with your stupid perfect boyfriend imagine?! You never made me feel like shit every chance you got?! The countless times you said I was worthless and how badly you wanted out of the relationship! Well you got your fucking out Kawanishi! So tell me what the fuck do you want now?!" By now I was on the verge of tears, and I hated myself for it. I was crying over the one person I hated most right now. Sure they were tears of pain not joy, but it didn't stop me from hating myself.
"I thought you'd come to your sense but it seems your still a selfish, unlovable, brat. Your right that relationship was horrible, and its cause you made it that way! Constantly needing to be given praise cause even you know your a worthless nobody!" He replied, giving me a look like I was unworthy of even being looked at.
"Go back to whatever hellhole you crawled out of and leave me the fuck alone." I had enough. I didn't- couldn't deal with this any longer.
"With pleasure. Just know no one will ever want your pathetic ass, I'll make sure everyone knows how useless you really are." And with that he left. I slowly closed the door and went up to my room. The people, sitting shocked, in my living room and kitchen were forgotten by me. They heard it all, but I just didn't have it in me to care.
Closing the door behind me, I leaned my back on it and slowly slid down till I was sitting on the floor. For a while I just stared at the wall in-front of me. Everything was quiet, even my thoughts. I didn't even hear as the people who were once in my living room make their way out of my house. Not even the footsteps which were coming closer and closer to me I could heard. The footsteps stopped in-front of my room, then there was a knock.
"BuBu, its me Tendou. I understand if you don't wanna talk just let me know if you need anything." He spoke with such softness in his voice, like he was afraid if he talked in any other way I'd break. Like a fragile piece of glass.
It took me a few seconds but I eventually did stand up and open the door. Tendou was there standing. He gave me a small smile. It was gentle, like his voice, but it was enough to make me break. I hung my head low as tears started to stream down my face.
TW: Panic Attack
I let out a choked sob before falling on my knees. I couldn't take it anymore, the weight that came with the each words he said was so heavy. It felt like everything around me was crumbling, crashing down to the floor with me trapped underneath it. I couldn't even feel the floor beneath me anymore, or Tendou wrapping his arms around me. Breathing got harder and harder by the second. Tendou was saying something but it all sounded muffled to me.
My hands and arms felt tingly. I was getting light headed. Breathing only got more and more difficult. Everything started to swirl until I felt something in my hand. I look down to see Tendou's hand in mine. I looked back up to his face.
"Take a deep breath, I'll even do it with you." He said. He started counting while take deep breaths. I still felt disoriented but I tried my best to mimicked his actions. After a few more deep breaths everything started to come back. I could feel the floor beneath me, breathing became easier, and the room wasn't moving around as much. My hands and arms started to feel normal again.
"You ok?" He asked giving me a reassuring smile. I was too emotionally drained to reply so I just gave him a small nod. Tendou let me rest my head on his shoulder since I was too tired to even move. He put an arm around my shoulder to comfort me as I drifted off to sleep a little while after.
