Love Isn't Always Fair | a.b

11. I Swear I'll Never Let You...

11. I Swear I'll Never Let You

“So, I guess this is an official goodbye.” I mumble, looking down at the ground, while digging my hands into my pant’s pockets. I turned around to face Jake who stood behind me, giving a slight smile. He gave me that smile that boy's give, when they have nothing to say, but understand anyways. And I could tell he badly wanted to say something, from the fact that after trying to convince me a hundred times, I was still insistent of what I wanted to do. I wasn't going to go back to Andy, to apologize or anything. Even though this seems like I might sound like a bitch, I really didn't want to bother to care. And I hated that. 

“You know, it doesn’t have to be this way.” He states, “We can always talk, any day.”

I press my lips together, and nod, “I guess so.” I respond smiling, looking at him.

“What should I tell Andy?” He asks all of a sudden, staring at me in the eyes with seriousness.

I sigh, and look over my shoulder, “Um..." I hum, trying to come up with an excuse. Am I really going to walk away now? Why is it that I now, I always want to walk away? I mean, I did say thank you, but do I really owe him anything? Why should I even stay here? I don’t have anything holding me back in this town, why should I even consider staying? It shouldn’t even be an option, Evelyn. Maybe escaping isn’t the right word now. Lets say, starting “fresh” is a better term in this situation. Besides, even if I decided to stay, I knew for a fact that Andy was going to be very sympathetic, and wanting to become very humane; compassionate; and charitable. And I'm not charity on legs.

Get over it. I take a nice deep breath, and look back at him, “Tell him I said thanks, and that I’ll... see him whenever I guess.” I respond, looking away from his eyes. I think it was kind of obvious that I was out of excuses. But honestly, I really didn’t know what to say. Half of the time it's due to the fact that whatever I say either comes out wrong or... just not the way I planned it to.

“Alright..” He nods, approving, and sounding almost hesitatingly. “I’ll let him know, then.”

I nod and give a tight smile, turning around heading towards my car. “Oh, and Jake?” I turn to look at him over my shoulder, “Take care.” I give him a soft smile, reassuring him I was going to be fine. He noticed, and just gave a slight nod, his lips forming a quirky smile.

I jumped inside the car, and started the engine. A soft tune came on the radio, enlighting the darkness of the night. I finally felt a bit relieved, or somewhat relaxed, and curious of what's ahead of me. Even though loneliness will be something to get used to; I'm somewhat okay with being lonely. I mean, what's the difference now? I lean back against the plushed seat, and turn to look over at Jake through the window. I smile, and he just waves back, causing me to smile a bit more bittersweet. He was a nice guy, which was the sad part about everything. After the heartbreak, and isoltation from my family, it was hard having to find someone that's worth giving the time to. Jake was a good guy, and I appreciated that he offered comfortment, but I wasn't exactly in the right position to know what that is.

One last look, and I finally starting driving away. 

12:46 A.M

The gas was running low on my car.

I decided to stop by a gas station before the bar went any lower, and parked into Sunny Gas, by one of the pumps. I noticed the time, and didn't realize it's almost past midnight. Time flies, and I keep forgetting that. But, besides that, I decided that what I've done was something good. At least for me. Maybe the guy will truly move on, and will forget about me. I mean come on, there are hundreds to thousands of people, I'm pretty sure he won't remember just one face out of all. He is in a famous rock band, so he has many other things to worry about. Not me, out of everyone.