Shackled

Chapter 2: Cody

Her hand grazes mine under the blanket and I reach out for her fingertips, lightly brushing them. The small spark that it gives off makes me smile and I grab her hand and pull her closer. We could lay there for hours if given the opportunity, never wanting to leave each other. She smiles at me and I know she wants me to kiss her. I pull her close and we embrace each-other. As I kiss her, her hands reach up and caress my face, making my entire body shudder. This moment is perfect and I never want it to end. The universe finally giving me something good for once in my messed up life. I hold her close, for the fear of fate taking her away. I stop kissing her and look into her blue eyes that I always get lost in and I let them take me as we embrace each-other once more.

****

My eyes shoot open and I sit up in my bed gasping for some kind of air. A tsunami of tears threatens to burst from my eyes but I brace myself and steady my wall I have built. The tsunami washes up against the wall harmlessly and I find the ability to breathe again.

"Are you okay?" My brother Aaron asks me, having turned away from his computer. I look up at him and nod blankly. He gives me one last worried look before turning back to whatever it was he was doing. Aaron is always on his computer, either playing games or making some kind of drawings on it. Unfortunately he has it right next to my bedside so sometimes it wakes me up when I am even in a deep sleep. I fear that is what happened this time as I was pulled from my dream so abruptly.

I lay back and run my hands through my now damp with sweat hair. That dream was what I considered a nightmare and I kept having them repeatedly, it was madness. Even though I hadn't even seen any pictures of her for a good long while now, she still haunted my dreams. Trying to shake it off, I get out of bed, grab my phone and earbuds and leave the room to head to the kitchen. I put the earbuds in my ears, connect them to my phone and turn it all the way up as I choose a song. The loud music pours into my ears and I drown in it as I prepare to make breakfast.

****

I grab my uniform and throw on my shoes as quickly as I can because I am now running late thanks to my mom. She had asked me to do a couple of errands and I knew I was pushing it by the last one. Silently cursing under my breath, I grab my keys and rush out the door. As I make it to my car a twinge of pain threatens to hit me. I steady my wall and it bounces harmlessly off. I silently wish I hadn't bought the car for both of us and it was just mine and mine alone. Sadly this is not the case as it will always hold a piece of her. I try to shake the thoughts as I open my door and climb in. I pull out my phone, connect it to the cars stereo and turn it up as high as it will go. I turn on the stereo and get ready to get lost in the loud music once more. I consider myself to be good enough of a driver to do stuff like this and be safe about it and so I have no fear of getting in an accident.

I don't want to think about her at all today and so I safeguard myself with the routine I know will push her out the fastest, otherwise I am about to have a really bad day. Even just one dream of her can fuck up my entire day if I let it. Not only that, but I work today and that gives me way too much time to myself when I could have drowned out all these painful thoughts through my videogames or something. I throw the gear into drive and my car speeds away from my house blaring loud music that I'm sure is annoying my neighbors. I hate being that person and I say a small sorry that I know they can't really hear. As I drive through traffic, I sing along to the music. It's usually some form of screaming which is perfect for me as I need to scream out my emotions. I must look ridiculous, I think to myself.

****

A cart is thrusted towards me which I catch and look down to see a mass of toys. Most of them are Barbie's and a couple assorted toys in other aisles. I look back up to my manager. "I need these done by your lunch please." He sort of begs me as he knows we are understaffed.