Every Beat || Tankana

XI

CHAPTER 11: The Caterpillar

"Kanao," the soft voice of her sister called. The day was quiet. The breeze smelled like fresh honey and sweet lilies.

She was sitting on the veranda, blowing soap bubbles as she waited for Shinobu to come home from the Hashira meeting. She was told that they needed to have a talk afterward, so she waited. As she would always do.

"Ne-... Nee-sama..." she still felt awkward saying it. She was told that she can address her master as her sister, like she should, but she also felt like it wasn't right. It took a while, but she finally addressed Shinobu as her sister.

Of course she still needed more time to get use to the name, but she saw how happy it made Shinobu feel, so she pushed herself to say it regardless.

The Insect Pillar smiled. She sat on the tatami mat and patted the spot in front of her, inviting Kanao to sit. 

Her butterfly haori was nowhere to be seen.

It confused the girl. Her sister never spent a day without her haori. It was very dear to her. But she remained quiet about it and sat across the pillar.

"Giyuu proposed to me." Kanao's eyes widen.

"H-he did?" she uttered surprise, more so than she intended to. Of course she knew they would get married at some point, though taken aback, she was very happy for them. "W-what did you say?" she asked.

Shinobu laughed softly, covering her mouth as she did. "I said yes of course." Kanao grinned upon hearing this. Her sister was getting married. She's never been to a wedding before or even seen one, only that it was a very special tradition.

"But that's not all I wanted to tell you." she added. Kanao sat quietly, waiting on Shinobu in silent anticipation.

"I'm retiring from the corp."

Kanao froze. 

Shinobu was dedicated to her work as a Pillar and a healer, she wasn't one to just stop. Especially after Kanae.

"Nee-sama..." the words escaped her lips like a silent breath, but Shinobu heard.

She closed her eyes, a small smile finding its way to her rosy lips. She knew that Kanao was ready, in fact she was ready a long time ago. "I already talked to Oyakata-sama." she said, a hint of pride beneath the motherly tone, happy at how much Kanao had grown throughout the years. "Since you are my tsuguku, you will be replacing me and you will become an official Hashira starting tomorrow." she finished, opening her eyes to see how distressed her sister looked.

Kanao jolted from her seat. 'Tomorrow?'. She placed her hand over her chest, she could feel the loud pounding of her heart under her fingertips. "I can't Master!" she cried. "I can't be a Hashira! Maybe you can find another slayer who's more fitting for the job, like Tanjirou!"  she could feel the tears burning in the back of her eyes.

It was no good. She cannot see herself being in the front line of the corp. She was used to just looking at people from behind. Seeing them grow and mature was enough for her. Of course she wanted to become stronger as well, more than the person she was yesterday. But a responsibility as big as a Hashira's, protecting, guiding, and leading was something she couldn't live up to.

She knew that there are more deserving people, more responsible and heroic than she is. She couldn't.

As Kanao trembled in her spot, willing herself to stop the tears, Shinobu watched.