Hated

Which to Listen to....

Look at you. I mean. Just look at you. You are pathetic, ugly disgusting, nasty on all levels. How do you deal with yourself? Look around, Jenna. Everyone is perfect besides YOU!
Jenna. Jenna, Jenna, Jenna. You are sooo beautiful, there aren't enough words in the dictionary to spell it out to you. You are a tall, strong, cute, amazing and fun teenage girl all bundled up into one. Don't worry about those scratches on your arm, the scars will heal.
They will never heal. They will be with you forever, and YOU were the one who put them there! The scars will bleed with envy every time you change clothes, if you can even fit in them anymore you fat whale.
Don't listen to her! You are so amazing and everyone loves you, you have to know that! Please. Believe me. You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
Lies.
"Ten minutes remaining for your project. Don't forget to add your touch on this. I'm mainly grading on personality, not the quality of your quotes." I shake my head to the sound of the teacher whispering to the class. Twenty-five minutes wasted in the darkness of my own head.
I hop on my chromebook, provided by the district of course. Like my mom could ever afford a thing like this. Any extra money we have goes to provide for her alcohol addiction and Johnny's football career, if he even has that.
Sad quotes, happy, angry, depressed quotes. They're all out there, I just have to find them and search for the right keyword. But which keyword will I permanently scar my computer with? Depression? Sad? Cutting? Anorexia? Eating? Food? There are so many choices, and most of them would make people think I am crazy.
Brokenhearted. You can't always see the pain in someones eyes, but everyone knows what happened after you get dumped. Your eyes leak without permission, your heart beats faster even when your blood turns into lava, and your body shivers when the thought of your ex passes through your messed up head.
I look brokenhearted and copy ten quotes down onto a doc I name Teenage Hood. Teenage hood is more confusing than solving a rubix cube. It makes more sense than explaining why you chose brokenhearted for poems.
As soon as I click share, the teacher calls time and makes us close our laptops.
"The bell is going to ring in about thirty seconds, so get everything together and I'll see you tomorrow."