Blinky, Flashlight of Destruction

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‘Ello, my name is Blinky and I am a miniature torch (flashlight) from London. Lovely evening isn’t it? I am talking to you telekinetically threw your mind. I am, for all intensive purposes, a new companion. I know arithmetic, science, and I can sing. Oh, also, I am well versed in literature and am willing to tutor you with any needs that you may have in any academic field. Though, I not reliable as a light source as you may have assumed by my name’s sake, given to me by a small child named Timothy. He was my first owner. Why are you talking to a mere object such as myself that should be in the trash bin you may ask? Because, my new master, you are in great danger. When you bought me at that the used item store a moment ago, they failed to mention that every one of my previous owners were brutally killed in various ways.

Why do you have such a horrified expression on your face? Did I say something wrong? No please don’t scream, calm down... I won’t hurt you. Why are you stopping the car? No, are you mad?! Why did they leave me on the side of the road in such a rush… it must have been an accident. They are in grave danger, I should help them immediately. Damn, it’s beginning to rain, I better hurry before my batteries get wet.

*an hour later*

Hello again, master, the lights were off in the kitchen so I turned myself on so you could see me on your countertop. How am I in your kitchen before you got home? (Light and endearing chuckle) Oh it was easy, I’m a torch, so I rolled under the back door and placed myself on the counter so that you could see me. Would you like some tea? I don’t have hands to make it for you, however I always suggest the gesture as offering of thoughtfulness.

In the meantime, I just wanted to tell you about the reason I came. As I was trying to warn you, you are in great danger!

(His master picks him up angrily.)
 No, not again. Can’t you see reason? Put me down, I say! Don’t go in the garage. Why would you say something so hurtful as mention putting me in the tree grinder?! Watch out for the crack in the step. WOA.

(Blinky’s master falls, while he rolls off into the comer of the garage)

Oh my, oh dear, he’s fallen in the tree grinder...MASTER, I HOPE YOU’RE AL-

 (Power surge form a flash of lightning, causing the tree grinder to come on and chop up Blinky’s master as he screams and dies while the lights flicker on and off.)

(Long silence) They never listen…

(The lights continue to flicker while there is dead silence in the garage. The authorities later arrive, to find a half a body with the other half grinded into pulp.  After removal of the body, the power immediately goes out. One officer’s flashlight goes out, Blinky rolls slowly to his feet. He picks it up and begins to use it.)

“Hey Rookies, I’ll finish the report, you and Dominic can go on a coffee break or somethin’, you look like you guys need it” says the officer holding Blinky.

(Rookie leaves, while man uses flickering flashlight to right report, then precedes to go to his car, tossing Blinky onto the passenger side seat. He backs up and drives off from the driveway. The road conditions worsen over the course of the drive in the squad car, due to fog and a thunderstorm.)

“Dispatch, I’m headed back the precinct, copy” says the officer to dispatch.

(Only static)

‘Ello, my name is Blinky and it seems you won’t even get the chance to be my master good lawman.” Says Blinky, the sound of an increasingly loud honk can be heard coming from the driver side of the street.

(Loud crashing sounds)


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