Falling for the Foreigner

Chapter 59- as if I hold a 'handle with care' tag

I just feel so empty. I cannot share my feelings with the person to whom I have been telling everything for over a year now and I feel lost. I have excessive time with me to think and my overthinking brain is driving me crazy. I cannot walk around or go to school for the next 4 weeks so I have nothing but time on my hands and I am spending this time preparing for my finals. The day Liam left my room, I called Sarah and cried my eyes out to her. She didn't question my decision of breaking up with him but just listened to me cry. Emily, Wes, Jake, Amy and Andrew have been visiting me frequently whenever they get time so that I don't feel alone.
I think my parents too must have realised that I have broken up with Liam considering that he hasn't been visiting me with others but they haven't confronted me about it, I anyways won't talk to them about it. I have been trying to act as normal as I can in front of them, which is contrary to what I am feeling inside.

Liam does send me occasional 'how are you feeling?' 'Are you doing well?' texts to check up on me. It takes every ounce of self-control to not tell him how I am feeling or to not tell him to come over and comfort me. But every time I think about him my mind goes back to the day this accident happened and how I lost my chance at a great future in dancing. This incident has just taught me that life is extremely unpredictable and no matter how much your plan and prepare, it can all crumble down like a sandcastle in seconds.

"There's a post for you", my mom enters the room waving a letter between her fingers. I think I already know what is considering I don't get letters addressed to me, my heart rate speeds up. She sits on the bed next to me waiting for me to open it. She too has been equally stressed waiting for the college letters to come so that there is some finality about my future. She put her hand on  mine and gives it a light squeeze. I carefully tear open the envelope and take out the letter. I scan through the letter and a small tear slides down my cheeks. I just plop my head down on my mother's shoulder and burst into a full sob. This letter has come to me when I have been feeling at  my lowest, like a chink of sunlight through dark clouds. I have been holding everything in for a long time and its all seems to come flowing out together at this point. This is all so overwhelming.

"Congratss!", she whispers as she kisses my hair. I am already accepted at Chapman University so I don't even feel like opening the second letter from Duke. But I slowly wipe my tears and bring myself to open the letter from Duke. I have been accepted there as well. I have been accepted for the dance programme in both these Universities but I am glad in the US since here we can change our majors. I am going to change my major to Psychology in whichever university I select. 

My mom immediately rushes out to order some sweets for this day and to make Paneer Bhurji, one of my favourite dishes to celebrate since I cannot go out. I text all my friends about this news and my mom calls all our relative to tell this and be more proud of her daughter. She calls my grand parents and almost all my aunts and uncles. It feels like one of my biggest burden currently is lifted. My dad comes homes comes home with more sweets and we discuss over dinner which university I will be choosing out of the two. Which is giving me more financial aid, which is more suitable for psychology, which is a more prestigious one.

Chapman university it is.

 It's been 6 weeks since I last went to school. I have spent the last 6 weeks doing nothing but at, sleep, study, watch some TV and then repeat. I don't even want to know how much weight I have gained over these one and a half months. But it's finally time I can go back to school. I still cannot engage in strenuous exercises and heavy walking but I can do the bare minimum of walking between classes, though at a very slow speed. I just have 1 and a half weeks before finals. My dad drops me off to school on his way to work, where Emily is waiting for me outside. She helps me limp through school to my locker where everyone else is waiting for us.

"Looking hot Sharma", Wesley remarks as I hug him. 

"You know right you could have easily spent the next one and a half week at home too and directly come for finals?", Amy asks.

"And what miss my last ever week of high school to sleep and eat home? No thanks I'd rather spend it with y'all"

Liam is standing there too just standing there with others. He just gave me a side hug when I came. We don't want to make it uncomfortable for our friends and put them in a position where they have to choose between the two of us.

"Oops looks like no more dancing and no more dancing for our best dancer....I mean ex-best dancer", Ashley passes a snide remark as she passes us by with Ruby.

"Oops the bitch of our team never had any of those in the first place", she pretends not to hear but Jake claims he saw her ears go red. Wesley and Liam walk with me to chemistry since we all have it, and they discuss some football match from last night. The whole class looks at me and talks to me as if I hold a 'handle with care' tag, and its annoying the shit out of me. Liam and Wesley just laugh watching me get agitated even as the professor pats my  back out of sympathy.

When I reach our table at lunch, every is engaged in a heated discussion.

"Nyra! Tattoo or piercing?", Andrew asks as soon as I sit down.

"For?"

"Just answer!"

"Ummm...tattoo"

"That's it! We're getting a tattoo no for discussions!", Wesley bangs his palms on the table. I am confused.

"As if I am getting permission for that", I remind them.

"Oh we'll convince your parents. Its a goodbye symbol and mark as we all part ways to do our things in life. We'll make her emo and she'll agree", Emily states with confidence.

And my mom actually did. I am getting a tattoo!

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