Tidal --- Nikolai Lantsov

12: right where you left me

AN: THIS IS IMPORTANT EVERYONE HEY LISTEN so this the chapter weve all been waiting for. this moment was the beginning of this whole story and this song was what inspired this moment. most of the words don't really match up but its like the sound of it idk how it reminded me of this moment but it did. you don't need to listen to the whole thing but THE moment happens if you start at 1:50 and then listen. she says "and you're sitting in front of me..." and the music kind of dies down and goes like more orchestral like and idk the emotions in that moment are the same as this scene so listen to it if you want to know the birth story of this book.i picture her looking up and meeting his eyes right as she says the word s'in front' so listen to that please. 

 Apparently I died. My heart was stopped for a good few minutes. Tamar said Sturmhond had saved me by pulling me out of the water and swimming me to shore. Without him I would be still dead. But he is also the one who put me in that situation. He put everyone in that situation. 

Right now he is off sulking in the water. Probably mourning his ship not even thinking about how he almost killed me and everyone else in the crew. 

"I need to take a walk." I said to Tamar finally standing up. I didn't want to be here when he comes back. 

"Do you want me to come with you?" 

"No. I want to be alone a little bit."

I walked off the beach and into the woods a little. I find a tree that seems clear of plants or bugs by the roots and sit at its base and give a big sigh putting my head into my hands.

I'm exhausted. A little bit physically but mainly emotionally. It feels like my brain is just bouncing from wall to wall as things just keep going wrong and people keep lying to me. I can't take any more surprises or upsets. 

It started with my brothers betrayal all the way up to Sturmhond's recklessness and lies in the Hummingbird. 

But then again every time I get upset about his deceits my brain somehow always tends to get sidetracked and remembers the other parts of him. How he broke me out of my brothers prison, twice, how we sparred on the deck of his ship, the way he looks at me, and even the stupid annoying way he speaks litters my brain and is always getting in the way of me being mad at him. 

And I can't forget about how I kissed him. I know it was stupid. So incredibly stupid of me. 

I just couldn't help it. He was being so open and kind. We were talking like we had known each other our whole lives. He has always been so familiar to me. Now even the way he is making me conflicted is giving me deja vu. 

Right after I had left and never said anything about it again. I felt bad about it but It had to be that way. We couldn't continue like that. I don't know why, really, but we can't. 

Suddenly I heard the rumble of horse hooves coming down the path. I got up to run back but they already saw me. 

"Seize her! She's with them!" as they approached I recognized their armor from the first army. 

I tried to run but I was a snail compared to the horses they were riding on. . They caught me quickly and bound my hands with special cuffs to stop me from summoning, but not before I got a punch in to the guard causing his nose to bleed. 

"Hello again Luna." An older man came forward to see me once I was constrained. I recognised him as Colonel Raevsky, commander of the first army. 

"Colonel." I say shortly, not looking to give him anything. If he doesn't know where Sturmhond and the crew are already I sure am not going to be the one to tell him.