Revenge Is A Dish Best Served [Larry Stylinson]

Instalment Nineteen

"Need? Or want? Because they are two completely different things Harry"

You really need to learn the difference Harry, because if you want me to stop, that's a whole other ball game, but needing that different. Needing me to stop means that you feel you are doing something you shouldn't, but you are losing to your own temptation, you are needing me to pull the rug out on this situation.

You don't trust yourself.

And that's a shame Harry, I believe you can be trusted and what you did the other night, knowing that you were being disloyal, don't think that it defines you Harry. It doesn't. You were being loyal to your needs and you don't been to apologise to anyone for that, especially not Zayn.

"I know it was you the other night Louis" we established that already, but okay Harry, I'll play.

I jump myself off the bench top, placing myself right in front of you and you don't pull away. I'm too much for you Harry, I can feel it. And you, are too much for me. It's difficult to keep composure.

As soon as I'm in your atmosphere Harry, I feel how you catch your breath and tighten your stance, stop pulling away from me. You know you want this.

"Tell me to stop then" I offer as I continue to inch myself forward. You don't however move back.

You bite down into your bottom lip and swallow hard; I can see the struggles you're trying to push aside.

The shadows from the room dance across your face and as I stand there in front of you, I felt a time shift, going back to a place where possibly the fairy tales may have had a point.

I needed to taste you again, I felt withdrawals. I needed a fix.

"Both" you opt for the safer option, although I could see you struggling. You definitely didn't want me to go, but for now, I'll play along, and do you know why? You're worth the wait.

If waiting is what you need for me to do so you can figure all of this out, I can do that, for a little while.

"See you around" I announce before leaving you there to ponder, there are some serious conversations that need to be had with yourself.

~

It wasn't as if I wanted to avoid you Harry, because I really didn't. I wanted to be as close to you as possible; but I want you to want me back. Doesn't do very good for my ego when you don't comply and I can't say I'm the most patient of people either.

So; this past week has been difficult. It is good to see you at school however though, I missed allowing myself to be constantly distracted by your beauty.

You really never notice do you?

I could watch you for hours Harry, your quite fascinating. It's like the entire world is watching you and you continue to let it pass by.

What are you waiting for?

Avoiding you has been difficult, it's very hard when your seated right next to me and I can smell your brand new cologne, and hear the way your teeth chew into the cap of your black pen. The way you lean closer to the textbook as if it will make you understand the question better.

I can't stand the way you operate Harry, everything you do, just drives me insane.

This past week it's like we have reached a standstill, I feel like I don't know what's happening and that scares me Harry. I don't know what is happening with you and Zayn, I don't know what is happening with you in general, and I'm sitting here with all this knowledge about Zayn's past and no way to know how you tell you.

And then there is Michael, part of me wants to tell you about him, and Hugo. I want to explain it all. I want you to know who I am; but you've never asked any questions. Do you not want to know anything about me?

But I can't tell you about Michael, I can't tell anyone really, especially when they think he is dead. He should have been dead, no one survives an accident like that. Well apparently Michael does. But he knew too much, he knew enough that could have put me away for good, and I don't think I would sit well in prison.

Harry, stop biting your lip, you are making this even harder. Why of all weeks do we have to have double math, why must the universe be so cruel as to place me next to you for this amount of time.

And your leg Harry, you bounce it when you get anxious did you know? And apparently today you've upped the antics because it hasn't sat still since you placed yourself by me.

What is it your anxious about? I know it's not the math, your naturally smart and I've been watching the way you handle these equations the same way in which you handle the football. It's direct and straight to the point and if deemed difficult in anyway, you manoeuvre the ball around to make it work. To score your goal.

I need to not pay attention to you for a while, you are my end goal don't get me wrong, but Zayn is the goalie. And I know enough about him to get him the yellow card. So, it's him right now that I need to paying my attention too. And I need to start playing with that fire.

I already know that he will be an easy egg to break Harry, and I'm really sorry it had to be that way, but unfortunately I can see these things. I love that you see the good in people and I want you to continue to keep that quality about you, your going to need it around me, but I saw things in Zayn the moment he started making eyes at you.

He looked at you like you were a piece of meat; like you were his for the taking.

But let's be honest Harry, the minute you walked into my world; you were mine.

And even if I didn't meet you in this lifetime; your soul was always going to belong to me, I would have just found you in the next one.