Revenge Is A Dish Best Served [Larry Stylinson]

Instalment Twenty Eight

It is said that we spend our entire lives searching for pieces to our puzzle that we aren't even sure fit.

That there is one person out there for everyone, in a world full over billions of people we are tasked to find that one that matches our souls perfectly. I guess that's why they call it a tragic romance isn't it? After all, what are the chances of actually being able to find the one, the needle in the haystack.

Seems like an impossible task if you ask me.

But here you are, sitting right here in front of me, and I'm forced to admit that I was wrong.

You are that missing piece to every puzzle I have ever attempted to solve; you are the needle.

And the task now is to keep you. 

You are worthy of so much more than this world, Harry, and there isn't a soul living upon its surface that is worth your time. You were meant for another lifetime, another dimension. But since you're currently circling in my orbit, I'll hold onto you.

"Do you believe in an afterlife Louis?" you're gazing upon the clouds in the sky which is the reasoning behind your question I suppose.

"How do you mean?" I need some clarification, because do I believe that there are people dancing upon those clouds that have surrendered your attention? No.

"Like after you die, do you think we just move on to another life after this one?"

I wish I could entertain your ideals of perfect circles Harry, that after this we are simply swept off to another tragic place, but I don't know.

"I sure hope not, once I've finished with this life, I don't think any other platform would want me." I mock. The seriousness of conversations is unfamiliar to me.

"That's not true, Louis. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for." Flattery. I like it Harry. Looks cute on you.

"I give myself a lot of credit, I know my strengths, but I can't say they are appreciated"

You shake your head however at the same time shifting it toward my accessible shoulder to which my arm lay open, the hint of curl ends tickles the bare arm exposed at the end of my shirt lining.

"I believe there has to be something more" sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than me here.

"Why are you so sure?" I'll accept the lie for now.

"I just don't want to think this is all for nothing. Like life in itself, otherwise what's the point if one day it's just black out?"

I admit I am kind of lost for words at the moment Harry. You've surprised me. The way in which you look at the world, the way in which you look at love. You hope for so much more out of both of them, but you're constantly defeated by the ideals that it all may be nonsense.

You're sad, Harry.

I've never noticed it before now, but you're disappointed in what the world is offering you and it confirms what I thought before, this world doesn't deserve you.

"Have you ever been in love before, Harry?" my once notion to never ask you questions has got to be broken, my doll is broken, and it needs my putting back together. Broken dolls are, although beautiful, often thrown aside and replaced with new ones. But not me Harry, I'll never replace you. I can't. You're a rare product.

"I think so."

"Why only think?"

I turn my head to look at you as you let your head fall to face me. You don't answer for a moment, but I can see the answer dancing in the rims of your eyes.

"It never felt like this"

I can't answer, how does one possibly answer something like that.

But I know what you mean, but I can't admit to that.

"I think we do go to an afterlife" I need to refer back to our previous conversation as I never got to answer you. "I think there is somewhere, far better than this place that we all go to after we die, but we have to make it through judgement day first, and well, some of us, I don't think we make the criteria."

Your eyebrows tense and furrow at my comment.

"I told you once before Louis, I don't believe this front you put on. I see something else" You see what I want you to see Harry, there is no buts about it. That's it. You give off different versions of yourself to those around you depending on what they mean to you.

But I'll entertain the idea for now. "What is it you see Harry?"

You flip over onto your stomach, edging yourself closer to me.

"Hope"

Hope. A single word that I didn't ever understand the meaning of, and maybe that's why you see it. You've never witnessed it either.

Hope. A buoyant state of mind where you expect something positive to happen, that things will irrevocably be as they should and that everything you coveted will be remunerated.

"For the first time, ever, I see the prospect for something more. Something better" you explain yourself a little further considering I hadn't yet responded. Not because I didn't understand Harry, but because I was attempting to visualise it too, my world without you, and I just can't see it. Perhaps I see hope for you too.

"Do you not think that you're dancing with the devil here Styles?" I work in mysterious ways Harry and I know I needed you caught in my web, but for a split second, I don't want you falling for the delusion.

"And is the devil not just the god of another world, one that we are only taught to fear"

My eyes feather shut as I let a small chuckle fall from my lips.

What did I do to deserve you?

"I guess so" I can't argue with you there.

"Louis, I need you to do me a favour" okay, now you're pushing it, but this I can't wait to hear.

"Go on"

"Let me go"

I open my eyes suddenly and look over, forcing my confused eyes to meet with yours.

"What?"

"You deserve someone who is able to give you absolutely all of them, everything they have to offer, and I can't do that. So, I need you to let me go." You elaborate.

"Why do I need to let you go?" I ask out of curiosity. 

"Because I don't have what it takes to walk away"

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oh no Harry!! Don't shut off.

But what are you hiding that is keeping you from Louis?

It was cute to see this side of Louis <3