[Kamukoma] Unpredictable Love

18.75 | More Despair

It seems like everyday is worse than the last.  Nothing looked like a light that I could reach for... a hope that I could hold on to... a reason for me to even continue onwards...  School has always been a living hell for me to keep up with that sometimes I ask myself over and over again about why bother going somewhere that doesn't make me feel safe or happy, and then I think about "them," and regain conscious of who I'm doing this for...

But the thing is... I feel like I'm losing myself.  It feels like I'm just dissipating from this world and I have a good feeling that everyone around me won't even care.  I have... or had... a friend... and.. he looks happier now... but we don't keep in touch as often as we used to since this the beginning of this year...  It's been quite, how do I say it... lonely, and it's cold everywhere I walk.  I'm nothing but a freak, and even if people don't say it, I bet they think that.  You know...

Recently, I've been thinking of ending it all so I could be with the people that loved me...

It was just misery...piled on top of stress... piled on top of a huge aversion upon life.

I just want to make it through the school year... Maybe if I just try a little bit harder, I will get somewhere and everything will be okay... Hold that stupid smile on your face, and just try to get your life back together again....