[Kamukoma] Unpredictable Love

13 | You Don't Understand...

----Six Months Later (in last period)----

As time passed, my feelings for school faded away... My will to even go to school deteriorated to the point that I even started skipping and staying at home.  Not that I cared whether I had tardy marks or anything. 

Everyday was the same.

Those three stupid fucking pigs don't waste a minute to mess me up and chunk my entire school life with it into a pit of despair. Without Kokichi, I've been isolated and keeping in all of my frustrations that over time quickly disappeared.  And as for Kamukura... well, I was just glad that I didn't have to see him at all this year...

I think that I started to question myself when school was ever considered fun...  People always said that it was okay and that as long as you did well in your classes and studied hard, then you will pass.  Ironically, if the definition of studying hard to just earn a minimum of a C- is fun, then you surely are mistaken... Rule of thumb, I learned from previous experience in school is that they don't care about your grades and majority of the time, your smarts are nothing to them.  They choose people specifically from some random high-ass standard that seems almost too convoluted for the human mind to handle.  I just don't understand school... The system never made any sense, so I decided to just begin procrastinating and end up with a grade above the passing mark, but lately... I don't think that I have been willing to try at all. 

Because why the fuck do I care anymore.

School is living hell and a place where your dreams don't come true, and there's nobody that can convince me that I'm wrong. 

I've been fucked up the last six months and there's less than 2 months left of school.  I deal with shitty people everyday along with being neglected on a daily basis.  People don't care for people like me because I'm the "weird" one when indeed, I think that it should be the other way around...

You're weird if you don't stick up for someone who you know clearly did something bad... You're weird if you watch someone get beaten up in from of your eyes and completely ignore the scenario so you don't get involved... You're weird if you fucking manipulate people for your gains...

Tell me if I'm wrong... because I know damn well what it feels like to be living through pain and suffering every fucking day of my life...

The only thing that I can find amusing is ending the day...

[speakers: COULD I HAVE NAGITO KOMAEDA DOWN IN MY OFFICE AT THIS MINUTE]

Fuck...

As I picked up my backpack and escorted myself out of the classroom, I can feel my classmates' eyes on me as the class began a heavy cloud of whispers.

Could people shut up.

I didn't feel like saying anything aloud though.  I just wanted to get this day over with.

----At The Principal's Office----

"Mr.Komaeda, I assume you understand why you are here, today..." I could hear Mr. Principal say softly.

I didn't make eye contact as I aimlessly stared at a blank wall.

Mr. Principal cleared his throat. "It's about your grades... All of your subjects are..."

"I know..." I said, still not making eye contact with him. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Why wouldn't I know what he's talking about. I know myself. I've been bs-ing this whole third quarter of school, how wouldn't I know...

[Sigh] "Komaeda... I don't know what to say... At this rate, if you don't receive any help now... you may end up being held back another year... All of your friends wi-"

"Hah, friends..."

"What I meant to say was all of your classmates will be ahead of you and off to college next year."

"Okay." No shit will everyone go off to college next year. Maybe going on without me might even be better for them or anyone anyways considering that I won't have to deal with bitch faces Rantaro and the other two whores that I don't have the energy to say. Kokichi will probably be fine without me as well. He has other friends... He doesn't need me...

"Komaeda, please... you don't mean that. You aren't actually fine with being held back... right?"

I didn't answer.

"If that is your decision... I guess that I can't stop you from changing it..." the principal hesitated.

"mhm.." I answered as I got up, picked up my backpack, and walked out of the principal's office without bidding goodbye.

Exiting the principal's office, a wave of eyes glanced at me in the hallways. It's not like they can hear what's going on in the fucking office, but I guess that you can say that it is uncommon for people to called down. You what would be such a god damn pleasure though? I don't know... MAYBE IF PEOPLE JUST FUCKING MINDED THEIR OWN DAMN BUSINESS! Even in the corner of my eyes, I could see Rantaro, Miu, and Kaede grouped together and snickering.

Die. Fucking die.