Pictures of You [Completed]

Twenty-nine. Finding Reasons to Stick Around

"I see it!" Luke gushed happily, tugging Ashton's hand hand with him as Luke ran up the pavement to a large red heart-shaped arch. It was made of metal better suited for a fence or a bridge. But then again that was the point.

The idea had come to him suddenly. He wanted to seal in something, before he left this city where he'd felt the lowest of the low, he wanted it to remember him for something good. Something that wasn't triggering. Something that he chose while he was slipping away from his numbness.

He'd made Ashton get out of bed, moved by his own mind for the first time in a few days or so. He'd dragged him up, motivated by some urge that came from within his chest. He was buzzing with energy he hadn't felt in weeks.

If this was what recovery felt like, he was gonna love it!

"Get up get up! I've been looking through brochures all night," Luke gushed like an excited child, "and I finally found something we can do!"

Ashton had gotten up and rubbed his eyes. "Someone's in a good mood," Ashton smirked. The relief was obvious on his face, and in his touch as he tugged Luke closer.

Luke became suddenly aware of how strange he must feel in Ashton's arms and tensed up a little. But he did hug him back.

He tried not to let that thought put him out for the whole day. In fact he actively wished it away, and let himself melt into the warmth of Ashton's hands. Letting the heat seep under his skin.

Luke had let Ashton help him get dressed, he liked how gentle he was, how soft his knuckles were as they brushed over skin. Ashton had dressed him in one of his own old shirts. It swallowed Luke whole, but he liked the texture on his skin.

Maybe these were new things to be grateful for.

Luke hadn't intended for Calum and Michael to show up, but he wasn't upset with them either. He'd missed Michael. And even if Michael had come to see him several times since Luke was in recovery, they were still pretty tense.

Luke knew he should work on forgiveness. Michael could be as sick as he is.

But Luke reached for his hand and held it gently. Michael looked at him, his big green eyes looking for something in Luke's. "We're going out on a date. Do you guys wanna come along?"

Michael nodded quickly. And all the apologies in the world couldn't compare to the feeling of relief Luke could see radiating off his best friend. "I was actually coming here to ask you the same thing."

Luke smiled. "You caught me on a good day," he hummed.

Luke, determined to enjoy this hot hot city, had a leg up, especially since he'd be enjoying it with the three other people he wanted to spend it with.

When Luke had fantasized about this vacation, having the four of them together had always been the forefront of his mind.

Luke stayed close to Michael, chatting with him like they used to. "I can't wait to get back to cellphone service. Calling my mom is such a hassle," Michael sighed.

"Shit. I haven't called my mom since maybe Athens?"

"Oh, she's gonna think the worst." Michael giggled. "You better call her. Stop torturing that woman."

Luke rolled his eyes, but continued to giggle. "I'll call her tonight."

"Don't be surprised if she has the search party organized when we get home."

And as much as Luke knew that Michael was probably right, he hoped it wasn't true.

They went for lunch, Luke ordered something light still. Something that wouldn't trigger him, but he wanted to keep it down today. He still peered over at the others's plates.

"What does that taste like?" Luke peered curiously at Ashton's barbecued sting-ray. "Whats the texture like?" He cooed with soft eyes.

"Surprisingly crunchy," Ashton cooed with his mouth half full. "You wanna give it a try?"

"No," Luke shook his head immediately. "No thank you. But if you could like try that piece and tell me what it feels like..." he pointed to a really crispy edge.

Ashton followed Luke's command and nodded. "The like salsa thing on top really makes the dish. It's like hot and sweet. And the meat inside is almost like a tender chicken..."

Luke sighed falling more in love with Ashton for that description. "It smells so good..."

"Wanna description of mine?" Calum cooed gently. Probably understanding that it helped him out to know.

And Luke nodded gratefully.

"The shrimp is perfectly cooked. Theres these like flat rice noodles that they stir fried with veggies. It's got sweet and savory. It's spicy too. But it's perfect. Feels like I'm eating Chinese food but with a twist," Calum cooed.

Luke smiled, feeling fulfilled by their descriptions. Maybe he could try just one bite of the stingray. Just one and then he'd finish his own meal. Just one wouldn't make him swell up.

Luke chickened out before he could ask. And finished his own spicy soup with only a few bites left. He wouldn't push it for now. Maybe tonight.

And then they were there. And the heart shaped archway that Luke had planned in his insomniatic mania. It was cuter than he even expected. He'd been expecting a bridge, like the one in Paris. But no, it was an archway. It was probably better that way anyway.

As they ran closer Luke could see the adornment of locks and tags all over it. Each one a different story, a different meaning. And he'd come equipped with a few of his own.

Luke gave one to Ashton, and kept one for himself. He'd explained it to them in the restaurant, so they all knew why they would each have their own padlock.

Luke had written it out on his own. "Luke <3's Life 4 Ever". He didn't care if it was cringy, or stupid or poorly planned. He didn't care if he'd change his mind later and be embarrassed that anyone saw it. It didn't matter. Because in this moment, Luke wanted to be grateful for his life. For his love and all the things in it.

He intertwined it with Ashton's as they hung them up high so it would be difficult for even him to take the heavy metal down. Calum and Michael seemed to be doing the same thing, either out of pity, or genuine interest. Either way Luke was just glad to have his friends at his side.

"Can you take our picture?" Ashton was asking Calum, handing him the disposable camera. Luke hadn't thought about that since the train to Madrid. He'd forgotten Ashton even had it. And maybe Ashton had too.

Calum stood back, holding the viewfinder up to his eyes. Luke fell into Ashton's arms. Just as nervous as before, but this time it wasn't scary.

The camera aimed at him didn't frighten him, or remind him of those that he'd taken in every bathroom mirror in every hotel room. One where he'd take it and obsess over everything he'd have to change about himself.

It felt like a before picture sure, but one that was hoping for a much more healthy result.

A before recovery picture of him.