Romancing Dominance [BL][COMPLETED]

chapter 26 | romancing dominance

5 years later...

Wearing my designer's best, I forged the towering image I built for myself. For what? I don't know.

I'm not sure either.

My life has become complete uncertainty and every day I asked myself what is more to ask.

What is there to find? What is lacking? 

It has been years after everything that had happened to me.

Five years to be exact.

Limang taon na rin pala.

Time heals, they say, while I remain broken from the past.

Don't get me wrong, I did not regret what has happened to me. It was all part of me and I have grown to accept it.

I have to let go and start anew. To build what was broken and redeemed what was lost.

Holding the bouquet of roses in my hand, I softly caressed the white petals and hid the bitter smile on my lips as we approached the place my heart dwells.

Humina ang takbo ng sasakyan at tumigil ito sa malaking gate ng mausoleum ng pamilya Sandoval.

"Wait for me here, Hacob. I won't take long, I promise love." I said to my companion and kissed his lips. 

My indifferent expression vanished seeing how he smiled and kissed me again. 

I adjusted my sunglasses before stepping out of the car.

Nang makalabas ako ng sasakyan ay sinipat ko ang buong paligid. It's still the same neat looking and grandiose mausoleum that my family own.

One step at a time until I reached the tomb of my beloved.

It has been years after that accident and I can't still ask my heart to forgive myself for losing an important part of my life.

What could have changed if things did not go that way? Will it be better? Or will it worsen?

"I hope you are here to welcome us home..." I whispered.

I put the bouquet of flowers in the vase nearby.

This place is solemn, a place I seek for peace. But being here doesn't give me peace, but rather pain and doubt.

"I'm not happy you know. Losing you made me lose everything."

I know I was a bad person.

But even a bad person when they lose someone will feel the type of unbearable pain. 

Pinikit ko ang mga mata nang maalala ko kung paano ako umiyak at nagwala nang malaman ko na wala na siya. The type of pain that I would never want to happen again. 

Akala ko wala ng hihigit pa sa sakit na nangyari sa akin sa Maraya, pero may mas sasakit pa rin pala. That is when you witness someone's last moments and you can't do anything but wail. 

To beg for God not to take them. 

Nanginginig ang mga kamay kong napahawak sa aking tiyan. 

It still hurts. The memory lingers like a die on a shirt. No matter how hard I try to forget, it will always be there. A constant reminder of my broken past. 

Right now everything is new to me. 

"I can't take care of myself yet I ask the high heavens to give me the chance to take good care of you. I was ambitious and I was punished." Ngunit huli na ang lahat.

Wala na siya.

I was late to give myself the freedom to forgive.

When I pushed myself to forgive, it made me hate myself more. Because when I did, I did what I know was best for me, and that was when I chose home. Home is my peace.