Fast Times at Paradis High

Chapter One: Existential Crises and McDonald's

a/n: I added song recs to this fanfic on ao3, so i'll add 'em here too. The asterisks represent what song to play. * [80's High School - CASTLEBEAT] ** [Windy Summer - Anri]

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"Yo, where the fuck are we gonna eat?" Connie groaned as he tried fanning himself with his hand. The humid August heat suffocated the group of friends as they sat in Bertholdt's beat-up minivan. Bertholdt was one of the only ones in the group that had a car, let alone one of the only ones that knew how to drive. Sasha leaned her head against the window and popped a few chips into her mouth, her head pounding from the combination of the heat and her teachers' already bombarding her with assignments. It didn't help that the AC in the van was barely working. She sat in the back row with Connie and Jean; Mikasa, Eren, Armin, and Marco sat in the row in front of them, while Reiner sat next to Bertholdt in the passenger's seat. They had finished their first day of senior year, and as a celebration of their "last-first-day", the group decided to go out to get something to eat. However, they failed to discuss where they were supposed to go.

"How about that noodle place by the mall. They make good soups." suggested Sasha with a mouthful of chips.

"Hell no, it's too hot to eat soup, plus I don't think I have enough money."

"How much did you bring Connie?"

Connie dug into his jacket pockets and pulled out a couple of dollars and coins. "... eight bucks." he muttered.

"I thought we all agreed to bring at least fifteen."

"Yeah well I forgot my wallet at home."

"Dumbass." Jean scoffed.

"Shut up horseface!" Connie rebutted. Jean opened his mouth to yell something back before Reiner interrupted, "C'mon guys, let's not fight. Maybe we can find something cheap to eat, and if anything I can help pay for your meal."

"So, any other ideas guys?" asked Eren. Nothing. They all sat in silence for a few minutes. Sasha was starting to get hungry. She thought about how wonderful it would be to be eating a cheeseburger... with some fries... and a soda-

"Let's go to McDonald's!" she exclaimed. She startled Connie who was leaning his head on her shoulder. Everyone looked at her, muttering in agreement, not really caring where they went as long as the place had a working AC.

"Ewwwww no, I hate the burgers there." Jean gave her a look of disgust.

"Well get a Mcflurry or some shit like that." Bertholdt said as he pulled out of the parking space and sped to the nearest McDonald's. The sooner they got out of that musty van, the better.

After Bertholdt pulled into the parking space, Sasha excitedly unfastened her seat belt and pushed Jean and Connie out of her way and dove onto the seats in front, landing on Marco's lap. She dramatically rolled over and opened the door before jumping out, her shoes hitting the pavement with a loud thud. She adjusted her backpack and happily skipped over to the front doors and chanted "Cheeseburgers, cheeseburgers!". The rest of the group hurriedly walked after her. They pulled on the door handle sighed in relief as the cool air hit their bodies. They looked around for a booth large enough for them to sit in, but they were all too small to fit everyone in their group. They figured that maybe they could drag a few chairs over but to their dismay the chairs were stuck to the floor. They debated over how they would split their group up, but someone would always be upset over their seating arrangement or complain that the discussion was wasting too much time. After spending five minutes arguing in the middle of the restaurant, Armin spoke up.

"How about we just take the food to go and eat it somewhere else?". Eren turned his head to face him.
"But where should we go, 'cause I am not eating in that fucking hot-ass van."