Just two weeks (Time Of Luv Series 1)

kabanata 8

Kabanata 8: First...
RedLavender_0403

I cry and cry at home. I don't know what to do. I am totally messed out!

Yesterday, he said he wants to tell me something. Ito ba iyon? But we were happy this last few days ah. Why did he do this to me? Ito ba iyong sasabihin niya? Dahil tapos na iyong two weeks niya? Akala ko napa-ibig ko na siya sa akin. I thought he finally dated me for real today. I thought he will gonna confess his feelings for me today. I don't know that our end will be like this!

But why did he do this in the first lace if he had a fiancee? Is it because I balckmailed him? But he can always say that he had a fiancee! And he said he don't have a girlfriend! What the f*ck! Wala nga siyang girlfriend pero may Fiancee?! Ganon? Dapat ba fiancee agad iyong tanong ko?

Nagmukmok ako sa loob ng kwarto kong buong araw. Buti wala sina mom. Ayaw ko kase magsalita ngayon. I just want to cry! Dinadalhan ako ng pagkain ni manang sa kwarto pero pinapaiwan ko lang doon at ayaw kong kainin. Pinatay ko ang cellphone ko. I also told manang to not entertain visitors for now or if someone ask about me I told her that I don't want to talk right now!

Gabi na ng gumising ako. Pagbangon ko, I saw mom and dad, sleeping in my sofa. Ginawang unan ni mom ang braso ni dad while dad is hugging her from behind. Looking at their now makes me miserable!

Naalala ko na naman ang mga ginagawa ni Klein sa akin noon. He always hug me from behind and also hold my hands under the table while studying together. What the f*ck is this!?

Tuluyan na namang tumulo ang luha ko sa mga ala-alang iyon. I didn't know that my first love will end just like this!  I don't know that it'll be hurt like this!

Suminghot ako sa pag-iyak. Agad naman nagising sina mom and dad. Dinaluhan agad ako ni mom.

"What is wrong baby?" Si mom. Patting my back and stroking my hair.

Di ako nakapag-salita. Humagulgol na naman ako sa iyak. Mom's then hug me tightly! I cry on her chest. Dinaluhan na rin kami ni dad. Hanggang sa nakatulog ako ay umiiyak lang ako.

Paggising ko ulit ay nasa gitna nila na ako. Nakayakap sila pareho sa akin. I am so thankful that I have them. I don't know what to do kung wala sila sa tabi ko. Simula ng bata pa ako lagi na sila nandiyan para sa akin.

I wish that Klein loves me like how my parents love me.

On that thought, I realized, maybe I am just expecting too much. I am assuming that he is truly likes me. But he never say that. He has never told me that he likes me. Siguro nag-iilusyon lang ako. Siguro kaya niya lang ako pinapakisamahan dahil sa pangako niyang two weeks of dating. Siguro dahil doon.

At dahil aa mga iyon, its not his fault. Its my fault. Ako iyong nag-assume na gusto niya ako. Ako din iyong namilit na idate niya ako. Ako ang nagpasimula ng lahat ng ito. Wala talaga siyang kasalanan. Its mine!

Dapat pala naniwala nalang ako sa kasabihang pinaniniwalaan ko noon pa man. That not all the persons you likes will like you back. Kung ginawa ko iyon, siguro di ako masasaktan ng ganito.

But somehow, I don't want to regret my decision on this! He is my first love. Lahat naman siguro masasaktan kapag nagmahal. Not all the love story will have a happy ending. Maybe I just need to accept the fact the I love him without any condition. Even he didn't say that he loves me, or even likes me. I still do like him. Its a love. I love him without a reason and condition.

Maybe tomorrow, he'll apologize. If that will happen, I'll just accept that. It is sad but this is my story not his. Maybe my first love story will end with a sad ending. And all I need to do is to accept it.