"Oh, dear gosh, this is absolutely fantastic." Conan picks another flower from the vase in the middle of our dinner table and shoves it into his mouth. I see my mothers' eyes widen, either in disgust or admiration. I choose to go with the latter.
"Thank you, Conan." She clears her throat. "But really, I made enough burgers that you can have that instead of the plants I leave out for decoration." A pinched laugh escapes my mothers' lips as she tries to casually replace the flower vase with the large plate of burgers.
"Hold on," Conan holds up a beautiful palm. "You're telling me the flowers weren't the main course???"
No, you are, I think to myself with a smile. His juicy cheeks protrude as he smiles and reaches for a thick burger. I watch as he takes two patties, chucking the top bun behind his shoulder. He places the meaty top patty over the bottom bun, sandwiching the bun between the meats. Just as quickly as he had snatched the sandwich from the plate, he now shoves it up his leotard in one swift movement.
My mother's eyes widen as he reaches for another, once again sandwiching the bread between the meat.
"Mind if I stand up?" Conan eyes my parents as he squeezes his strange sandwich so hard that juice begins to dribble on the floor.
"Go...for it..." My dad whispers.
Conan quickly stands, squats, and reaches into his leotard. Within seconds, he has pulled out a large container of butterscotch pudding. The sides of the container sweat, and I begin to as well.
As Conan smothers his burger in sweet pudding (his taste buds are so mature), my mom tries to make small talk. "So, where are you from?"
Conan's eyes widen and he dramatically drops the knife that he had been using to spread the pudding. "I thought you'd never ask." He pulls a hand-sized spotlight from his leotard and shines it on himself, kicking his chair onto the floor as he stands.
"Innnnnnnnnn WEST Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin all cool, and all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school."
"This sounds familiar," My mom whispers to my father, as Conan begins to make his way around the table, giving high fives.
"When a couple of guys who were up to no good, started makin' trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, and said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air." Conan drops back down to his seat abruptly, out of breath and dripping sweat (same).
"That-that was literally just The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song." My dad looks around the table, confused. I feel anger begin to swell inside of me.
"Dad, Conan literally just spilled his heart to us in song, and this is how you act?? Gosh, you are so 1950." I roll my eyes and for the first time ever, wrap my arms around Conan's long neck.
"GET OFF ME, PEASANT." Conan begins to hiss like a cat, before bringing his arm up and elbowing me in the nose. As I grab my nose, Conan grabs his butterscotch pudding and dumps the whole thing on my head.
Through the pudding in my ears, I hear my mother sigh. "Do you remember when we were young and in love?"
"AGH! Sorry, River. The mention of the '1950' sent me over the edge. I got terrible flashbacks." Conan shivers.
Before I can respond, my dad is on his feet. "Get out of my house, and do not ever touch my daughter again." After he finishes, he takes a bite of his burger.
I stand, a little dizzy at first. "Dad! You are so totes not being fair. It's a simple broken nose; I've been wanting a nose job anyway, Conan helped me!"
"Silence, Raven. Conan will be leaving this instant. And he can take his little tricycle with him."
"Mom!' I turn to my mom for support, but she's already walking into the kitchen, finding dessert.
Conan stands up to leave. "If Conan goes, I go with him!" I shout, but then I turn around and realize he has already left the dining room. I run out towards the front hall.
Conan stands in the entry way dramatically, the light from outside highlighting his silhouette. His giant hair looks like a helmet in this lighting, and it is so perfect I almost cry. "Goodbye, River." It is only then that I realize this new nickname he has for me, and also the lasso that he is holding next to him in his right hand. I imagine him using it to pull me in, but shake my head to clear the thought so I can focus.
"Goodbye, Conan. Sorry my dad is a lame ball. See you Wednesday."
"If fate allows it." He pulls out a pogo stick and begins to hop away, his head hitting the ceiling, making little dents, as he goes.
After he is gone, I glance up at the dents and count them like the stars. As a piece of ceiling falls a few feet away, I make a wish.
YOU ARE READING
Sequins and Somersaults: A Conan Gray Fic
FanficRaven's dad's job has required her to move again; this time to a boring little town in Texas. She has only been there for about a week, but she knows that there is, like, totally nothing that could make her want to stay here...right? After joining a...
