ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD | bucky barnes

seventeen

𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘨𝘰,
𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶
𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘢𝘺.

_

Y/n sat against her bed petting Alpine while Tony leaned against the wall. He had come up there to tell her that there was a debriefing.

It had been about a week since Wanda's disastrous wedding, and Y/n had barely been out of her room since except to train Peter— though it took a lot of convincing on his part.

Tony had been by to visit her a couple of times along with Wanda. She didn't think she could handle facing the Avengers.

They all probably hated her. She didn't want to see the look of disappointment on their faces.

Especially what had happened with Bucky.

"Come on Sunshine, I can't stand to watch you like this. You haven't been outside in a week and we are all starting to miss you. Just tell them what happened and I'm sure they will understand."

Y/n sighed "I'm just so tired of this, of everything. It's like I can't catch a break for anything. I don't want to do this anymore, I hate my dad for what he put me through."

"That's why I think they will understand. They all also have gone through some shit. No one blames you for not tell everyone. I've would have done the same thing."

"Yeah well, what Bucky told me the other day says otherwise."

Y/n felt her stomach twist whenever she thought about him. She didn't know why. He had a right to be angry but then again so did she.

They were both in the wrong that day, but she wasn't going to be the one to apologize. Her pride wouldn't allow it.

Or what was left of it anyway.

"Don't mind him, he's a grouchy old man. Plus he killed my parents and didn't tell me about it, if anything you guys are even on the lying scale."

She let out an airy laugh "Fine I'll go. But if I run out of the room crying that's on you."

"I'll accept full responsibility." He winked. Tony turned and left, leaving Y/n alone to her thoughts.

Y/n let her body fall back against the bed. She knew she would have to face them eventually but it didn't make it any easier.

Would they look at her with disgust?

She knew Natasha was also an assassin. But she felt like it was different because she was in the red room.

She was probably just being dramatic and overreacting but this was really the first time in her life she had cared what other people thought. How other people felt.

And if she was being honest it felt like shit.

She wouldn't necessarily say being an emotionless killing machine is better, but she never knew feeling things could hurt so bad.

Alpine nudged her face with her nose, Y/n turned more and scratched her head "What am I going to do Alpine."

Her response was to began purring. Y/n sat up in the bed and frowned— it's Not like she expected a response from a cat, she wasn't that crazy... yet.

_

Y/n stood outside of the conference room. She was giving herself a mental pep talk, whispering words of encouragement to herself.

It was a little pathetic but she didn't care. No one was there to judge her anyway, and if there was she would just rip their fingers off and poke out their eyes with it.