Not Yet Alone

Chapter 18

I have never truly understood the purpose of my existence.

What is the point? Why would God chose to take his good time just to make me?

Everyday, I do the same thing. I wake up, eat, go to school, eat some more, finish school, go home, eat supper, then go to sleep. On certain days, I feel that my existence resembles that of a robot, just repeating a pre-programed instinct.

That is what my existence is. Then there is always what my existence could be; it lurks in the back of my mind just to haunt me.

When I look in the mirror, I see myself. I can't escape; I'm stuck with myself, stuck between choosing who I am and who I should be.

Whenever possible, I always take the easy way out. But what happens when there is no easy exit?

God made me to show his amazing glory; I know that. But that isn't all.

It's time for me to move, to discover the purpose of my existence. It's time to stop hiding from myself and show the ever watching world how amazing God really is.

****

My mind is completely occupied. It is a good thing Austin is driving because I'm much too focused. The thoughts of my creeper are getting heavier. I now know were he is.

Austin is pretty focused too as he attempts to maneuver through the busy streets of New York City. Note to self: in the future, we should just take a taxi.

"I know where he is." I informed Austin as I punched in the correct address into the GSP for him to follow. "He is expecting me."

Austin gave me a quick glance. "You want to find him now? There is plenty of time; we just got here. Lets go to the hotel first."

"No," I shook my head. "I need to deal with this now so that my mind can rest in peace." I pulled my dark hair back, out of my face.

Austin was quiet until we reached our destination. It was some sort of warehouse/building place. It's not like a castle, but it isn't very shabby looking either.

I have no idea what I'm going to do once I come face to face with the guy who somehow discovered my secret; maybe I'll know once I see his face.

As I got out of the car, I was surprised to hear another car door slam as well. I was also surprised that I was surprised because I can read minds; nothing really surprises me anymore. Well, with the exception of one person.

After Austin had gotten out of the car, he gave me a gentle smile.

"Austin, you're not coming in with me." I informed him. "This is something I need to do for myself."

"No, after you saved my life like you did, I owe you big time. I'm going to protect you." He replied.

"I don't need your protection, and you don't owe me anything." I told him. What I did for him wasn't even that big to a deal. I just sent one text message; that's it. "I didn't save your life for you; I did it for me." That didn't come out exactly how I thought it would.

"No, you-" I decided to interrupt Austin again.

"You're a great friend, Austin. I needed someone like you. But the main reason I ever chose to save anyone was to clear my head of the evil thoughts floating around. I did it so I wouldn't feel guilty, not because I really cared." I could tell what I said hurt Austin's feelings by the way his facial expression dropped, but it had to be said. I couldn't allow him to come with me and get hurt for me. I made my choices, and I am responsible for them.

"No, you're changing lives all the time." I wasn't really listening to him.

"Now I have to eliminate this evil." I began to walk away. "Don't follow me. I can read minds, remember? I'll be fine."